Disney movies were a huge and influential part of my childhood. I remember watching my favorites daily for weeks at a time, and I clearly remember running around my living room pretending to be Ariel whenever I watched "The Little Mermaid," probably a sign that I was destined for the stage even though I was only five or so.
I don't remember the first time I watched "Alice in Wonderland," only that I owned it on VHS and watched it fairly regularly. Actually, it was one of the few favored movies of my childhood that I made no attempt to act along with, mainly because I was so engrossed by it. I'm assuming that what initially drew me to the movie was its bright color palette and whimsical nature, but there was something about Alice that I really liked. I absolutely loved Alice, and I couldn't figure out why for a very long time.
Eventually, when I was in middle school, I read "Alice in Wonderland" for the very first time, and in the first year of owning a copy of the novel, I must have read it close to ten times. The story never ceased to amuse me, and although I couldn't quite understand why, I wished I were Alice. Since then, my love for Alice has grown, and I've owned various forms of "Alice in Wonderland" merchandise, watched the movies multiple times, written my own versions of the story, and even earned the nickname Alice from a very dear friend of mine.
And, although it took years to figure out why I loved Alice, it eventually became quite clear as to why that admiration for Alice stuck with me for so long. I've always been a curious person, but as I've gotten older, most of that curiosity has been tied to taboo, strange or otherwise nonsensical subjects, such as my lifelong fascination with the paranormal. The questions I had about the world didn't involve things that most people could or would want to answer, and I was afraid to go looking for those answers. Alice, however, followed her curiosities wherever they took her, and found some things that she didn't like, but she also found things beyond her wildest imaginings because of those journeys. I have always wished that I could fearlessly adventure through life exploring and searching for answers the way that Alice did.
"Alice in Wonderland" is supposed to be more of a cautionary tale, I know, that too much curiosity can be a bad thing and lead to trouble, but there's nothing wrong with curiosity in itself. As the years passed and my need for answers outweighed my fears, I eventually came to share qualities with Alice in my persistent quest for answers and my desire to understand both the world and my place in it. I was finally Alice, daring to question the paths expected of me and to learn and discuss those things that people think are best left unsaid. I love "Alice in Wonderland" because it inspired me to follow my natural curiosities, despite the potential topsy-turviness of what I might find.
