Being a teenager nowadays, all you look for in life is someone to love you endlessly, and once you find that person to do it you feel like you’re on top of the world. Everything in the world doesn’t seem to exist except that person. You can’t even picture your life without them. Some can call it some sort of “curse.” Two years ago I was put in front of who I thought was my ‘forever’ and out of the blue, I was lucky enough to have it all end when I least expected.

Love is something you cannot feel or describe unless you’ve personally gone through it. You constantly have this person on your mind, and spend every waking possible moment together. When you’re away from each other for more than 20 minutes, it feels like ages. The scary part is, you can’t seem to get sick of it ever and so they become your new life. I look at it like an addiction in the sense that you are so attached to this feeling that you get physically sick without that ‘love drug’ consuming you in every way possible.

I will admit, being in love is the greatest feeling ever, and the worst. He was my best friend. We would spent endless amounts of hours together every day and always couldn’t wait for the next time we would see each other, even while we were together. Every minute counts as a memory. I can recall sitting at one of our houses and just laughing for hours and doing the stupidest things ever without noticing how weird we were actually acting. My family considered him a fourth child basically. He was my “person.” When I was sad, angry or even extremely happy, he was the person I would go to ASAP, and vice versa for him. We wrote letters, had little insiders that never got old, and didn’t care who judged us. I thought I was set, my life felt as if it started over with him in it.

But, then it happened. The absolute worst, but most eye-opening day of my entire life. We broke up on our actual two year anniversary. We had both just finished spending hundreds of dollars on each other, and now it was all for nothing. For months, we would constantly argue over nothing and do things just in spite of one another. We couldn’t seem to stay away, even if it was just pure anger. We both have done some things that didn’t make us perfect angels, but I believe true love could conquer all. During this time period ladies and gentlemen, is the hardest thing you will ever have to put yourself through. Endless amounts of thoughts, crying, pain and sleepless nights. You can’t imagine this feeling going away, and you wonder how such a terrible feeling can even exist. All I could keep thinking about was him promising me he would never do something like this, and how betrayed I felt.

Weirdly enough, after all of that crying and pain, I’ve finally come to the realization that I am so lucky to have gone through something like this so young. I finally know what I want in life and how I want to be treated. I feel like a brand new person and yea of course here and there I get those tiny sad moments where I reminisce on the good memories, but I know that I’m succeeding in life without him and I’m at a place, where I couldn’t picture myself living positively. Nothings ever over, so no one knows that the future holds, but as of right now, I think of this as a blessing and for anyone going through something similar, the feeling of heartbreak, just know it will get better with time. Nothing this strong heals overnight.