"How do you do the distance?"
"How do you trust one another?"
"Don’t you feel like you’re missing out?"
I get these kinds of questions constantly when I tell someone I’m in a long distance relationship. My boyfriend and I have been friends since we were young kids and we finally gave it a go the summer right before our freshman year of college. Great timing. We both had our own plans and expectations for our first year of school so starting a relationship wasn’t necessarily on the agenda. However, we instantly clicked. We knew that it was worth giving a shot even though we were going to be two hours apart and see each other about a weekend a month. For some reason, commitment in today's day and age is taboo. People find it bizarre to want to be in a committed relationship especially during college. Believe me, I understand where they're coming from. However, if you find someone worth "going the distance" with, hold onto them.
Having the distance isn’t the best, but you make it work. People act as if having a long distance relationship is the worst thing in the world. At first, it was difficult. You’re still working out your own quirks with one another as well as adjusting to college. That's where the trust comes in and definitely becomes a challenge. You have to trust one another and be honest. Being brutally honest and open is the key to a long distance relationship, especially in college. No one wants to waste their time so if you aren’t “feeling it,” speak up. You’re not just wasting their time but you’re also wasting your own.
To be honest, I think having the distance makes our relationship that much better. We are given the opportunity to grow individually and have our own “things” that we can share with each other. We are ecstatic to see each other because we don’t see each other all the time. We’ll go through our calendars and find out which weekends during the semester are the best times to visit each other between work, school, sorority and fraternity obligations. Because we aren't together all the time, we really enjoy the time that we do have together. In between those times, there is a lot of FaceTime. Sometimes we’re extra lame and will both go to our college’s cafeteria and “have lunch together” over FaceTime. You find those small cute things that keep your relationship fun. Another fun idea is mailing a care package of their favorite snacks and a cute note to let them know you’re thinking of them. Or guys, SEND FLOWERS! A very cute small way to show your girl that you’re thinking of her. These may seem like small things but when you’re apart they mean so much.
And to answer the question, “Don’t you feel like you’re missing out?” No. If you feel that you love that person enough to do the distance and make it work, you’re not worried about “missing out.” You can go out with your friends, go to parties, etc. It doesn’t mean you’re tied down, ball and chain. The only way that happens is if you do not trust each other. We both go out and enjoy our semester with our friends but you just have to be smart. Would you like it if they were doing what you are at that party? You learn what’s “OK” and what’s “not OK.” Again, you still have a life and you shouldn’t be controlled by your significant other by any means. Just think before you do something.
Please understand, not everyone can do the distance. If you’re going into a long distance relationship you both have to be on the same page beforehand. Understand what the other person expects out of the relationship and vice versa. Having an understanding from the beginning makes the relationship that much better in the long run.
