As I have gotten older, I feel that I have learned quite a bit about myself and the world. By no means do I have everything figured out, but I definitely think that my grasp on reality is much better than it was this time last year. The fall semester of this school year was probably the best semester of college that I have had thus far. I gained some incredible friends, made tons of memories, and finally overcame some obstacles in my life. Despite all of the incredible things that did happen, I thought one terrible thing would overshadow them all at one point.
Toward the beginning of last semester, one of my best friends and I parted ways. One of my absolute worst nightmares unfortunately became reality. This had been one of my biggest fears in life up to this point, and I honestly was not sure if I would be able to ever move past it. Thankfully, this separation was not one that happened out of anger or bitterness, but it was still incredibly painful to see one of my dearest friends walk out of my life. This was one of those situations where we had both transitioned to different phases of life and realized that it was not going to work anymore. And it sucked. The next morning, I really was not sure if I was going to be able to even leave my bed. I was so depressed and really wanted to do nothing more than lay in the bed and sleep to avoid having to deal with any of the emotions that I was feeling. Thankfully, God gave me the strength to get up and face the day. While I did have a few meltdowns that day, I realized something. One of my biggest fears actually happened…and the world didn’t stop spinning. I didn’t die. I actually was able to get up and keep moving after I had been knocked down.
That was the day that I realized that sometimes your worst nightmare has to come true in order for you to discover your own strength. Losing one of my closest friends was extremely difficult. In fact, it is one of the hardest things I have ever endured, but I know that it had to happen. It had to happen in order for me to actually get over my separation anxiety. It had to happen for me to realize how strong I am. It had to happen in order for me to realize that things will fall apart, but I will be okay. God is big enough to handle all the problems that I face.
While this journey has definitely not been an easy one, I have been able to get some closure from the situation. It has taken some time, but I eventually discovered that letting go is possible. Now, I don’t mean that I have forgotten all about our friendship and have pushed any memory of him out of my mind forever. What I mean is that I still treasure the time that we had together, but I know that our friendship ended for a reason. There are still times that I get really nostalgic when I see something that reminds me of our friendship, but I know that I could never have grown as much as I have had our friendship not ended. I am incredibly thankful for all that I learned from being friends with him, and the time that we shared will always hold a special place in my heart. However, I would not change the way things are because I know that I found my strength in being able to let go.
