Usually, I am pretty quick to get into a movie theater and see the smashing hit that everyone is raving about. However, being a broke college kid, my opportunity to see La La Land didn’t come until I decided to go home for Spring Break, and my mother who saw I was getting cabin fever paid me twenty dollars to get out of the house.

It was finally my chance to see this movie that I have been dying to see. After all, it did extremely well at the Oscars, and I have an intense girl crush on Emma Stone. It had to be this amazing love story with the dashing Ryan Gosling singing quirky songs and wearing smoking outfits. And did I mention that I love musicals? And did I mention that I am a sucker for any romance film?

So, for a girl who loves love, musicals, and Emma Stone, this movie had to be a smashing success, right? Wrong. Oh, so wrong.

On an emotional level, aside from all the bad singing and repetition of the same damn song, this movie destroyed me.

(For anyone who watches “How I Met Your Mother,” you will understand this.) This movie shoved Mia and Sebastian’s relationship down my throat. (Just as HIMYM shoved Barney and Robin down my throat, but I digress.) It was one of those things where they basically forced you to fall in love with their relationship. You had to love them together, as that was the entire premise of the movie! They gave me no other options. I mean, Mia left her boyfriend at the time for Sebastian, and I didn’t even think twice, and I never called her a cheater. It was true love! And I was invested.

They made it through the highs and lows, facing unemployment and realizing that dreams can sometimes be very hard to attain, especially in La La Land. But, this movie made me want to believe that if you are with the right person your dreams will come to be if you work together. Reality can be hard and one half of the relationship can succeed while one fails. Jealously and frustration can make things not work.

But, when Sebastian literally drove all night to get Mia off of her ass to a life-changing audition, I was like “this is it.” Both can achieve their dreams because they helped each other get there. That’s what I wanted this to be about—how working together as a couple can result in a successful life, a happy love and awesome careers. THAT IS NOT WHAT I GOT.

First of all, Mia, my girl, you suck. You suck, you suck, you suck. Listen, I don’t know what happened in Paris, but how can you forget Sebastian like that? He literally handed you your career. He sacrificed his for yours, and now you’re married with a baby and a cold heart. But then again, I’m just a bitter old hag.

Let’s talk about that last scene. The one that truly, but surely left me sobbing into the popcorn bag. Maybe it just hit too close to home, but that last magical dance scene was completely and utterly unnecessary! It can be hard to see all the what-ifs and unknown in life, especially when it comes to love. It’s hard to see it right there in front of you, the things you could have done differently in life that can drastically change everything. To see little things that Sebastian and Mia could have changed to allow them to end up together was devastating. And I did not like it.

I get it, I’m an over-emotional baby. But I just wanted to leave the theater after this movie was over. Usually, after movies, I can’t stop talking about them. However, my friends and I didn’t speak on the whole drive home. We were all heart-broken. I was expecting this movie to give me hope and faith in love at such a young age, but it was made me feel hopeless and lost.

Maybe that’s why I was so upset with this movie. As a young adult in college, the options for the future are unlimited. Anything can change. Right when you think you know where your life is heading, BOOM, life breaks out into a musical number. You may think you know who you will end up with or marry or love forever, but you truly never know. And what if you end up like Mia? What if you end up wondering what-if with that old flame? What if we end up alright, but not truly happy for the rest of our lives?

I just wanted a movie where the couple I love together ends up together, and not with some rando older man she probably found in a rich people restaurant. For once, why can’t the couple who meets in traffic telling each other to fuck off end up together?

I didn’t sign up for this. I didn’t pay twenty-two dollars for a large popcorn and a large amount of tears. I know, I’m over-dramatic. But it is not an understatement when I say La La Land ruined all my hopes and dreams of love. And also ruined my life.

(Like I said, I’m over-dramatic.)