When growing up, and still to this day, I always had my parents' marriage to look up to. God centered, loving, respectful, caring, understanding, and with reason disagreements that always ended with hugs and kisses. My parents have set the ideal example of what a relationship should look like and how to keep it prospering. Seeing these examples demonstrated throughout my entire life only made me desire that same aspect of life that much more.
Through high school I always wanted something more. I always wanted that person that would look at me and I'd just know what they were thinking. I wanted to feel loved and accepted by someone who'd consistently be there for me. I looked for these feelings in all the wrong places with all the wrong types of guys. I had my fair share of frogs and I never quite understood why I couldn't find my Prince Charming, little did I know my answer wasn't that far from myself.
I never was happy with my own doing. There was something else I always had to have. The best athletic ability, smoothest skin, sleekest hair... Materialist things that would make the next frog clearly love me more. Yet no matter how hard I tried, or what I did for these toads, made them stick around or for me to finally feel that love that I desperately wanted and experience what it was that was so special for my parents.
As cliché as it may be, once I got to college I changed my mindset. It was all about me. I was tired of trying to change myself to get a frog to turn into my Prince Charming. Little did I know I wasn't far from the key to this mysterious lock I just couldn't get open.
Yet it wasn't until my latest broken heart that snapped me into reality. It wasn't about what I had to do to get my frogs to transform, it was what I had to do to transform myself. I needed to accept myself, learn that being on my own, growing my independence, and most importantly relying on God, would answer my over all desire to be loved. I must love myself. It was time for me to learn to accept myself and recognize that being selfish is okay some times. How could I possibly think that someone else would love me if I couldn't even love me?
That following summer, after my first year of college and yet again another broken heart, these realizations began to set in. I dedicated time to myself and invested time into myself rather then what I could to do get these frogs to become my Prince. I stopped focusing on them and started focusing on me and my relationship with the Lord.
We as young women (men too!), can not try to fit ourselves into these cookie cutter molds of unrealistic ideals to get someone to fall for us. We need to acknowledge our self worth, our importance, our purpose, and focus our time and energy on that and allow God to place our Prince Charming in our life. Never settling on a frog that we are just trying to use to fill our own self consciousness.
All my friends who feel as if they will never be loved and never find "the one", I say this to you today, you must first love yourself before anyone else can love you. Allow yourself to be selfish as you wait for God to place your Prince Charming in front of you.
I can openly and honestly say that all the frogs and toads will never compare to your Prince Charming and white horse waiting for you. Be patient, learn to love yourself, trust God's plan, and focus on you, and your Prince Charming will be worth it all.
