Why It's OK To Let Your Guard Down

Why It's OK To Let Your Guard Down

You are not doing yourself any favors by refusing to let a single soul back into your heart.
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I can be the first tell you how extremely difficult it is to watch someone lie, deceive and break you, then walk away as if it was nothing to them. As if the pain they have caused you was no big deal. I can also be the first to tell you that with enough dishonesty and broken trust you start to build a wall. A wall that is built because your heart was shattered one too many times by letting the same person back in, thinking they may have changed. You were used and mistreated. You’ve completely forgotten how to trust others with your heart.

You begin to self-destruct into this phase in which no one is allowed in.

No one is allowed to get to know you, because if no one is allowed into your heart, no one can break it again, right? You’ve become the girl that people know, but they don’t really know. The girl that likes to sing in the shower, but no one quite knows the type of music you listen to. The girl that loves extra cheese on her pizza, but no one is allowed to know where you order from. What my point is, is that there is a certain mystery about you that no one can quite figure out. People see what you want them to see. But as far as getting to know you? They haven’t gotten the chance.

Keeping your guard up is the safe route, don’t get me wrong. It’s a sure-fire way to make sure the heart you spent months repairing stays intact. You were damaged once before and you never want to feel that type of pain again. But you will find yourself missing the opportunity to meet and maybe find love again when you keep your guard up.

So this is me, a girl who formerly had her guard all the way up, telling you to let your guard back down. You are not doing yourself any favors by not letting a single soul back into your heart. The person that has done you wrong in the past is in the past. You can't erase the memories and scars they have left you with but you sure as hell can grow from them. You now know what you deserve. And if you don't know what you deserve, you simply deserve better.

You deserve to be cherished for the way you snort whenever you laugh too hard.

You deserve to believe that someone could make you smile as much as any animal video you come across on Facebook.

You deserve to let someone pick at your brain and be mesmerized by how you read a book at night before you go to bed.

Most importantly, you deserve to be loved.

So, be vulnerable. Be afraid that something bad could happen. That’s life. No one gets a free pass on heartbreak and disappointment. Everyone will get knocked down, but it’s up to you if you get back up and grow in your strength and faith. And it's OK to worry that you will get hurt again. But what's not OK is letting the past eat at you like a cancer—letting the pain determine your fate. The pain you once felt from the bruises left on your heart will always be there. Those bruises, however, should give you the strength to show that they have not defeated you and they have not defined you.

You define your own strength.

I’m telling you that finding someone that wipes away all the fears you once thought you had is the biggest blessing. You are beautiful—whoever you are reading this—and you deserve love and trust. The past is in the past and once you learn to separate the past and the future you’ll be able to let others back in. This isn’t me telling you that you have to let your guard down, because that’s not my place. This is me telling you that if you find someone who makes your fears and insecurities seem as inadequate as the asshole that broke your heart before did, knock the wall down. This is me telling you that being truly and honestly loved is one of the most incredible feelings we as human beings get to experience and you should not deny yourself that. Do not deny yourself the privilege of letting someone adore you as much as your cat does. And please stop using the past as an excuse to be so afraid of the future. Everything heals. Your heart will heal after heartbreak, your mind will heal after being mistreated and your happiness will heal after sadness. Bad times will not last forever.

So do yourself a favor and knock down that wall.

Don’t rush it. Take it day by day, brick by brick. But I’m telling you once you reach the bottom of your wall and you learn to love again hopefully you’ll think back to this article. You’ll think back to when you sat in your room, or out in the park reading an online article written by a random girl from a small town in Upstate New York that pushed you to unstick those bricks and let others back in. The article that let you love again. And if you get that far I'm sure you'll be happy you listened.

Cover Image Credit: Pexels

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To The Girl Struggling With Her Body Image

It's not about the size of your jeans, but the size of your heart, soul, and spirit.

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To the girl struggling with her body image,

You are more than the number on the scale. You are more than the number on your jeans and dresses. You are way more than the number of pounds you've gained or lost in whatever amount of time.

Weight is defined as the quantity of matter contained by a body or object. Weight does not define your self-worth, ambition or potential.

So many girls strive for validation through the various numbers associated with body image and it's really so sad seeing such beautiful, incredible women become discouraged over a few numbers that don't measure anything of true significance.

Yes, it is important to live a healthy lifestyle. Yes, it is important to take care of yourself. However, taking care of yourself includes your mental health as well. Neglecting either your mental or physical health will inflict problems on the other. It's very easy to get caught up in the idea that you're too heavy or too thin, which results in you possibly mistreating your body in some way.

Your body is your special, beautiful temple. It harbors all of your thoughts, feelings, characteristics, and ideas. Without it, you wouldn't be you. If you so wish to change it in a healthy way, then, by all means, go ahead. With that being said, don't make changes to impress or please someone else. You are the only person who is in charge of your body. No one else has the right to tell you whether or not your body is good enough. If you don't satisfy their standards, then you don't need that sort of negative influence in your life. That sort of manipulation and control is extremely unhealthy in its own regard.

Do not hold back on things you love or want to do because of how you interpret your body. You are enough. You are more than enough. You are more than your exterior. You are your inner being, your spirit. A smile and confidence are the most beautiful things you can wear.

It's not about the size of your jeans. It's about the size of your mind and heart. Embrace your body, observe and adore every curve, bone and stretch mark. Wear what makes you feel happy and comfortable in your own skin. Do your hair and makeup (or don't do either) to your heart's desire. Wear the crop top you've been eyeing up in that store window. Want a bikini body? Put a bikini on your body, simple.

So, as hard as it may seem sometimes, understand that the number on the scale doesn't measure the amount or significance of your contributions to this world. Just because that dress doesn't fit you like you had hoped doesn't mean that you're any less of a person.

Love your body, and your body will love you right back.

Cover Image Credit: Lauren Margliotti

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Supporting Late-Term Abortion Is Actually The Opposite Of Feminism

Feminism is about gender equality and women supporting women- so shouldn't we support the unborn women of tomorrow?

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Before you read this, if you are someone who feels strongly that abortions are the "right" choice and that supporting late-term abortions is a step for woman anywhere, I do not suggest you read this article. However, I do want to write that I support conditional abortions- situations where the birth can kill the mother or where conception occurred because of rape. If someone rapes you, that is not okay by any means, and a baby conceived of rape can be terminated by the mother to avoid PTSD, anxiety, depression, panic attacks, and any other mental health diagnoses. Of course, if a woman can bring a baby into the world to keep or give up for adoption, even if it was the product of rape, she should seek life for the innocent child rather than death. And what a rape victim chooses to do is neither here nor there- and it damn well is not anyone else's business.

So why should it be my business (or anyone's) if women have late-term abortions? Agreeing to murder out of convenience should not be societally accepted as okay. When the law passed in New York for late-term abortions, I did not picture 39-week pregnant women rushing to Planned Parenthood to abort their child because they got cold feet. I highly doubt that is the exact scenario for which the law went into effect for, and that was more so intended for women who did not realize they were pregnant and missed the time period to get a legal abortion.

Not that I support early-term abortion, because all abortion is the same regardless of when it happens during the pregnancy. Killing someone sooner rather than later does not make it less worse.

Excuses about how women are not ready to be mothers, do not have the financial means, would ruin their futures, they would get kicked out, lose their bodies, etc. are just that- excuses. Carrying a child for nine months might be an inconvenience, but killing someone will be on your conscience forever. If murders pleaded their motives to police as a way to justify what they did (excluding self-defense), what difference is it if a woman kills her unborn child?

Planned Parenthood might be taboo and have a stigma attached to it, but it does so much more than kill babies. Planned Parenthood is a place where girls can go to see OB/GYNO, get birth control, and learn about safe sex, protection, STDs, etc. Instead of stigmatizing it, young women should be encouraged to go to this institution for woman and feminism. Let high school health classes plan field trips there so that everyone becomes more educated on female health (boys included!). Female health education is very limited, especially in school, and many women feel that an abortion is their only way out, however, it's not. By becoming more educated, the rate of teen pregnancies can go down, as well as the need for abortions. Women educating other women should be the goal of Planned Parenthood, and abortions should be reserved for those who got raped or whose pregnancy cause death, health complications, etc.

Abortion might be giving women a choice- but who is giving the unborn babies a choice?

And of course the only way to 100% prevent pregnancy is abstinence, and if that is your choice then good for you, and if you choose to have sexual intercourse, good for you too. Be safe. No slut shaming here. Women need to continue supporting other women, regardless of their sex life. Women who have abortions are not "whores" and should not be labeled as such- they are just people whose biology reacted to another person's biology.

If you truly do not want to have a baby, please please please give it up for adoption and do not kill it. It did nothing wrong, and yeah, it might be a little inconvenient to be pregnant, especially if you are in school, but there are hundreds of thousands of people that would love nothing more than to raise your baby. Be a woman supporting other woman and give the gift of motherhood.

If you take away anything from this article it's this:



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