Why It's OK To Let Your Guard Down

Why It's OK To Let Your Guard Down

You are not doing yourself any favors by refusing to let a single soul back into your heart.

I can be the first tell you how extremely difficult it is to watch someone lie, deceive and break you, then walk away as if it was nothing to them. As if the pain they have caused you was no big deal. I can also be the first to tell you that with enough dishonesty and broken trust you start to build a wall. A wall that is built because your heart was shattered one too many times by letting the same person back in, thinking they may have changed. You were used and mistreated. You’ve completely forgotten how to trust others with your heart.

You begin to self-destruct into this phase in which no one is allowed in.

No one is allowed to get to know you, because if no one is allowed into your heart, no one can break it again, right? You’ve become the girl that people know, but they don’t really know. The girl that likes to sing in the shower, but no one quite knows the type of music you listen to. The girl that loves extra cheese on her pizza, but no one is allowed to know where you order from. What my point is, is that there is a certain mystery about you that no one can quite figure out. People see what you want them to see. But as far as getting to know you? They haven’t gotten the chance.

Keeping your guard up is the safe route, don’t get me wrong. It’s a sure-fire way to make sure the heart you spent months repairing stays intact. You were damaged once before and you never want to feel that type of pain again. But you will find yourself missing the opportunity to meet and maybe find love again when you keep your guard up.

So this is me, a girl who formerly had her guard all the way up, telling you to let your guard back down. You are not doing yourself any favors by not letting a single soul back into your heart. The person that has done you wrong in the past is in the past. You can't erase the memories and scars they have left you with but you sure as hell can grow from them. You now know what you deserve. And if you don't know what you deserve, you simply deserve better.

You deserve to be cherished for the way you snort whenever you laugh too hard.

You deserve to believe that someone could make you smile as much as any animal video you come across on Facebook.

You deserve to let someone pick at your brain and be mesmerized by how you read a book at night before you go to bed.

Most importantly, you deserve to be loved.

So, be vulnerable. Be afraid that something bad could happen. That’s life. No one gets a free pass on heartbreak and disappointment. Everyone will get knocked down, but it’s up to you if you get back up and grow in your strength and faith. And it's OK to worry that you will get hurt again. But what's not OK is letting the past eat at you like a cancer—letting the pain determine your fate. The pain you once felt from the bruises left on your heart will always be there. Those bruises, however, should give you the strength to show that they have not defeated you and they have not defined you.

You define your own strength.

I’m telling you that finding someone that wipes away all the fears you once thought you had is the biggest blessing. You are beautiful—whoever you are reading this—and you deserve love and trust. The past is in the past and once you learn to separate the past and the future you’ll be able to let others back in. This isn’t me telling you that you have to let your guard down, because that’s not my place. This is me telling you that if you find someone who makes your fears and insecurities seem as inadequate as the asshole that broke your heart before did, knock the wall down. This is me telling you that being truly and honestly loved is one of the most incredible feelings we as human beings get to experience and you should not deny yourself that. Do not deny yourself the privilege of letting someone adore you as much as your cat does. And please stop using the past as an excuse to be so afraid of the future. Everything heals. Your heart will heal after heartbreak, your mind will heal after being mistreated and your happiness will heal after sadness. Bad times will not last forever.

So do yourself a favor and knock down that wall.

Don’t rush it. Take it day by day, brick by brick. But I’m telling you once you reach the bottom of your wall and you learn to love again hopefully you’ll think back to this article. You’ll think back to when you sat in your room, or out in the park reading an online article written by a random girl from a small town in Upstate New York that pushed you to unstick those bricks and let others back in. The article that let you love again. And if you get that far I'm sure you'll be happy you listened.

Cover Image Credit: Pexels

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8 Reasons Why My Dad Is the Most Important Man In My Life

Forever my number one guy.

Growing up, there's been one consistent man I can always count on, my father. In any aspect of my life, my dad has always been there, showing me unconditional love and respect every day. No matter what, I know that my dad will always be the most important man in my life for many reasons.

1. He has always been there.

Literally. From the day I was born until today, I have never not been able to count on my dad to be there for me, uplift me and be the best dad he can be.

2. He learned to adapt and suffer through girly trends to make me happy.

I'm sure when my dad was younger and pictured his future, he didn't think about the Barbie pretend pageants, dressing up as a princess, perfecting my pigtails and enduring other countless girly events. My dad never turned me down when I wanted to play a game, no matter what and was always willing to help me pick out cute outfits and do my hair before preschool.

3. He sends the cutest texts.

Random text messages since I have gotten my own cell phone have always come my way from my dad. Those randoms "I love you so much" and "I am so proud of you" never fail to make me smile, and I can always count on my dad for an adorable text message when I'm feeling down.

4. He taught me how to be brave.

When I needed to learn how to swim, he threw me in the pool. When I needed to learn how to ride a bike, he went alongside me and made sure I didn't fall too badly. When I needed to learn how to drive, he was there next to me, making sure I didn't crash.

5. He encourages me to best the best I can be.

My dad sees the best in me, no matter how much I fail. He's always there to support me and turn my failures into successes. He can sit on the phone with me for hours, talking future career stuff and listening to me lay out my future plans and goals. He wants the absolute best for me, and no is never an option, he is always willing to do whatever it takes to get me where I need to be.

6. He gets sentimental way too often, but it's cute.

Whether you're sitting down at the kitchen table, reminiscing about your childhood, or that one song comes on that your dad insists you will dance to together on your wedding day, your dad's emotions often come out in the cutest possible way, forever reminding you how loved you are.

7. He supports you, emotionally and financially.

Need to vent about a guy in your life that isn't treating you well? My dad is there. Need some extra cash to help fund spring break? He's there for that, too.

8. He shows me how I should be treated.

Yes, my dad treats me like a princess, and I don't expect every guy I meet to wait on me hand and foot, but I do expect respect, and that's exactly what my dad showed I deserve. From the way he loves, admires, and respects me, he shows me that there are guys out there who will one day come along and treat me like that. My dad always advises me to not put up with less than I deserve and assures me that the right guy will come along one day.

For these reasons and more, my dad will forever be my No. 1 man. I love you!

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Why The Idea Of 'No Politics At The Dinner Table' Takes Place And Why We Should Avoid It

When did having a dialogue become so rare?


Why has the art of civilized debate and conversation become unheard of in daily life? Why is it considered impolite to talk politics with coworkers and friends? Expressing ideas and discussing different opinions should not be looked down upon.

I have a few ideas as to why this is our current societal norm.

1. Politics is personal.

Your politics can reveal a lot about who you are. Expressing these (sometimes controversial) opinions may put you in a vulnerable position. It is possible for people to draw unfair conclusions from one viewpoint you hold. This fosters a fear of judgment when it comes to our political beliefs.

Regardless of where you lie on the spectrum of political belief, there is a world of assumption that goes along with any opinion. People have a growing concern that others won't hear them out based on one belief.

As if a single opinion could tell you all that you should know about someone. Do your political opinions reflect who you are as a person? Does it reflect your hobbies? Your past?

The question becomes "are your politics indicative enough of who you are as a person to warrant a complete judgment?"

Personally, I do not think you would even scratch the surface of who I am just from knowing my political identification.

2. People are impolite.

The politics themselves are not impolite. But many people who wield passionate, political opinion act impolite and rude when it comes to those who disagree.

The avoidance of this topic among friends, family, acquaintances and just in general, is out of a desire to 'keep the peace'. Many people have friends who disagree with them and even family who disagree with them. We justify our silence out of a desire to avoid unpleasant situations.

I will offer this: It might even be better to argue with the ones you love and care about, because they already know who you are aside from your politics, and they love you unconditionally (or at least I would hope).

We should be having these unpleasant conversations. And you know what? They don't even need to be unpleasant! Shouldn't we be capable of debating in a civilized manner? Can't we find common ground?

I attribute the loss of political conversation in daily life to these factors. 'Keeping the peace' isn't an excuse. We should be discussing our opinions constantly and we should be discussing them with those who think differently.

Instead of discouraging political conversation, we should be encouraging kindness and understanding. That's how we will avoid the unpleasantness that these conversations sometimes bring.

By avoiding them altogether, we are doing our youth a disservice because they are not being exposed to government, law, and politics, and they are not learning to deal with people and ideas that they don't agree with.

Next Thanksgiving, talk politics at the table.

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