Growing up as identifying as a selfless person often comes with a great deal of criticism. It typically comes along with hearing, “You are way too nice,” or, “You should only worry about yourself.” What most people don’t understand is that this is simply who we are.
I’ve learned as I’ve grown up that while being selfless is for the most part a great quality to have, it can also have it’s downfalls. Selfless is defined as, “concerned more with the needs and wishes of others than with one's own.”
I have always felt the need to keep the people I surround myself with happy, even if can hurt me not only emotionally but physically. We worry about others and how they are feeling so much so that we often don’t get a chance to stop and reflect on how we're doing. This is why we need to learn how to put the “self” in selfless.
While being a selfless person is by no means a bad thing, it can often take a toll on how we feel or act as individuals. When we're running around in circles making sure everyone else is happy we have no time to worry about ourselves, or who is trying to make us happy.
I’ve learned a lot of life lessons being away at school, as well as being away from my family. Learning how to, in some cases, put myself before others is, without a doubt, the most important one. I truly struggled with this until I hit a major roadblock that forced me to see what constantly acting selfless was doing to me. I had to learn how to take care of myself first.
Those who put others before they put themselves know that worrying about yourself and your needs before you worry about someone else’s is much harder than it may sound. It’s just in our blood to truly make sure the people we are surrounded by are happy and safe, even if it puts us in jeopardy.
As a selfless person it’s important to learn that especially as we get older we often are going to have to put ourselves before others. We need to continue to grow and strive as individuals, and that is simply too hard to do without focusing on yourself on a regular basis.
While it is hard to try and change the way we identify, especially as adults, it's also important to remember that it is possible to be selfless while also putting your name at the top of your priority list.
So next time you’re feeling stressed or overwhelmed take a minute to reflect on how you’re feeling and what you can do to make it better before you figure out solutions for everyone else in the world. Being loving, compassionate, and selfless makes you who you are and that is without a doubt a great person. However, without the ability to take care of yourself and your own needs before worrying about everyone else’s, you jeopardize the most important person of them all: you.
