Whether you're a freshman entering school for the first time, an upperclassman athlete, or the 5th year senior with no idea for a major, there is one thing everyone in college needs to understand: it is completely okay to be selfish.
Merriam-Webster's online dictionary defines 'selfish' as "having or showing concern only for yourself and not for the needs or feelings of other people." While most would agree M-W hits the nail on the head, it's also important to think of how selfishness is crucial to this stage of your life.
Selfishness in Relationships (Romantic, Platonic, or Otherwise)
No matter your year, relationships are going to come and go in this time period. Some romantic, some best friends, and some pure acquaintances. Commonly, I have noticed that when most freshman/sophomores engage in romantic relationships, they start to suddenly look at their lives as "my significant other's and my needs."
The problem with this mindset is you cheapen the value of what you could be. In that very instance, you place restrictions on your needs by tethering them solely if they align with what works best for your relationship.
Moral: Your needs right now should never be secondary in your relationships. Exception: Health and family members obviously can shift your priority.
Selfishness with Money
Paying for things in college is different for everyone. If you come from lucky financial circumstances, this part may or may not relate to you. However, this is always a good principle to practice: your financial status should not determine your social life/relationships with anyone.
If you really want to go out with your friends one night, but you know you don't have money: don't do it. If you miss out, so what? You are here to ultimately get your degree (which costs a lot more than drinks, FYI), not be the star of the night for 15 seconds of fame. On the other hand, don't completely shut yourself out from people. It is important to find your balance that fits you perfectly. Like everything in life, too much of a good thing comes with its pitfalls.
Moral: Money doesn't determine your friendships/relationships at this juncture in your life. If it does, break those bonds now. Those bonds should last when you're at your lowest and highest, not one or the other.
Selfishness with Your Time
Before you know it, these years will be gone. If you're a freshman, you won't experience that nostalgic, time-lapse feeling until next year or mid-semester in. Sophomores, juniors, and seniors know exactly what I'm talking about. It feels like yesterday you were walking through the dining halls with your friends, talking Eagle Towing out of towing your friends car, or taking those impromptu (yet so fun) Savannah trips.
Now, if you're anything like me, you may prefer spending your Friday night reading your favorite book. Here is what you need to understand: that is completely fine. Just because what you define as enjoyable may not be what your friends are all doing doesn't mean you should sacrifice your happiness. Always make sure the people you spend the most time with are the types of people who respect your time and your individuality.
Moral: Set aside some "me" time, always. The key to a successful life isn't being stress-free, or being the party spotlight. It's being balanced with all aspects of your life.
The most important part of college is earning your degree and discovering who you are as a person. Do not let anyone or anything sacrifice your happiness to get there. This requires being selfish. You are young. You have your whole life ahead of you. As a lasting piece of advice, don't let yourself be limited by your own "plan."
Break the mold, be selfish, and remember: every day awake is a good day.
