Obviously, at 19 years old I have had crushes before. In fact, I’ve had many. I tend to have them often, but for long periods of time. And whether they work out or not, the times when I’m able to not have a crush are honestly the best.
Having a crush constitutes a mix of a lot of different emotions. They make you happy, sad, confused, frustrated, scared, etc. Liking someone is usually really fun though. You’re looking for all the signs, trying to get as much time with them as you can and hoping that they’ll feel the same way and that it’ll turn into something more.
However, there is a heavy downfall to this: if they don’t like you back. Even if you just never find out because nobody makes a move, it leaves you to feel a lot of hurt and pain. Having a crush actually consumes a lot of your time too. The person is probably constantly on your mind and distracts you from the more important things going on. Maybe you easily zone out during class or while doing homework because your mind is on a certain someone. It’s also really easy to get hurt over the small things. For example, if you post something on social media, you might be waiting for them to notice or like it. And it won’t be that big of a deal if they don’t, but in the back of your mind you were probably hoping they would.
I think that not having a crush gives you a lot more freedom to be yourself without anyone’s opinion influencing you. We can become so afraid of what this specific person is going to think of how we look and act and the decisions we make. Being true to yourself and your interests and opinions isn’t as nerve-wracking. It probably shouldn’t be any different when we like someone, but I think it is for a lot of us. We’re afraid we might slip up and lose our chance.
Another benefit is that you can concentrate on the important things in life and relationships with friends and family instead. You can focus better on school work and the commitments you have going on. Focus on being a good student, a hard worker, a loyal friend. Sometimes people forget that these aspects of life are equally as important.
Also, you don’t have to dramatize things. You don’t have to dissect every little detail of someone’s words and actions toward you, which is a lot of effort. Not having to deal with that creates a much more peaceful atmosphere.
In my life, I’ve found that I’m happier when I’m not in the crush phase. I’m able to be completely happy with myself and who I am as a person overall. I haven’t had a crush in a while and it’s been a lot better to simply have fun with my friends at college and at home. And I’ve been creating more opportunities for myself, so there’s still plenty going on in my life.
If you’re at a point in life right now where you don’t have a crush on someone, enjoy it. If you’re trying to get over a crush, just open your eyes to the life that’s happening around you. Remember all that the world has to offer and take advantage of it.
