I had wanted to be a music teacher since I was 12. My life revolved around music: I played the oboe, took voice lessons, played piano, and was in every musical production in my school. I spent all my free time in the choir and band rooms. Music was my life.
I chose to go to SUNY Potsdam because of their amazing music program and especially because of their phenomenal oboe professor. After I committed to SUNY Potsdam and the Crane School of Music, though, I began to have some doubts. What if I wanted to study marine biology? Maybe go to medical school? I brushed these doubts off figuring it was just pre-college jitters.
Before I knew it I was moved into my freshman dorm and classes had started. I was really doing it; I was living out my childhood dream. My first semester went well. I really liked going to music school. I was in awe of the talent of my fellow students. That’s how I would characterize my first semester: in awe of everything.
The arrival of winter break changed everything. I travelled to Finland to visit an old friend of mine. I spent two amazing weeks out exploring and learning more about myself than I’d ever imagined. When I got back to SUNY Potsdam for my second semester, the shine of music school was gone.
One day, in my Principles of Music Education class, a professor came in and spoke to us about a service learning project where students would have the opportunity to teach children music in Jamaica. It sounded amazing. It was exactly what I wanted to do with my life -- working with the disadvantaged in another culture, with the exception of one thing... I didn’t want to be teaching music there.
The rest of the semester went downhill. Music wasn’t an escape for me anymore. It didn’t bring me any joy, only stress. I was going through the motions, but my heart wasn't in it anymore. I had never felt more lost in my life. If I weren’t going to be a music major, then what was I going to be? I felt like a complete failure.
Summer came, and I went home feeling miserable. By this point, I knew I was changing my major, I just didn’t know what I would change it to. It was the toughest decision I have ever made. I cried a lot. I felt directionless. All I knew is that I wanted to spend my life helping others and that is what got me through this time.
A month later I returned to campus to work as an Orientation Leader. I was toying with majoring in anthropology, but I wasn’t sure. One day we were in a training session and it was announced that there was a new major at SUNY Potsdam: international studies. I could explore so many avenues of the world with this major! It was like the fog had lifted away. There it was. This was going to be my new major.
Within a week, I had declared my new major and left the Crane School of Music. This didn’t come without some fears. I was worried the rest of my college career would consist of me constantly switching my major but the moment I started my new classes, I knew that I was in the right place.
Announcing the change got plenty of mixed reactions. So many people wished me the best. However, when I go home and I am often asked why I switched, some people think I’m throwing my talent away. Others think that I’m finally doing what I’m meant to do. As for me? I think that I’m finally happy and ready to change the world. After graduation, I plan on joining the Peace Corps. After that? Maybe law school or a government job or graduate school. I don’t know yet, but that’s okay. I don’t need to plan out the next 20 years of my life anymore. But what I do know is that I need to be true to myself.
It is entirely okay to switch your major. Yes, it is scary and certainly not easy, but sometimes the right decision is the hardest one to make. Learn what makes you happy and find a way to do it! As they say, “do what you love and you’ll never work a day in your life.”
