Why Is It So Hard To Love Yourself?
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Health and Wellness

Why Is It So Hard To Love Yourself?

I am learning.

Why Is It So Hard To Love Yourself?

In my First Year Seminar Class (FYSEM, for short) our professor asked us one day to say one thing we love about ourselves. This is one of my most dreaded questions, along with, "Tell me something about yourself!" during icebreakers. I didn't know what to say. We were studying our strengths and weaknesses at the time. I think I ended up saying my smile, but I kept my comment short. I wasn't going to drone on and on about myself. Besides the fact that I don't always love everything about myself, I think of how I want to be humble about myself and if loving myself is potentially disregarding that. This also has happened in my high school psychology class. We had to say three things we liked and didn't like, and that was so hard for me. I didn't have an answer for ages and wanted to just put six negatives.

For me, not being able to be positive or love myself is a combination of wanting to be humble and negative self-image. Growing up, I was very fortunate and my worst fear was being called spoiled. I was a couple of times (and to be honest, I was quite spoiled at times and I still can be) but I didn't let that stop me from trying to prove people wrong. It is one of my favorite things to do. However, to me, loving yourself and being vocal about the things you love can come across as bragging. I don't really think this happens when other people do it, but it is a fear of mine if I were to say how much I love my blue eyes and I'm proud I got them from my daddy or why I love my smile especially when it makes others smile back that it would come across as that. I know how twisted that sounds, but that is how my mind works.

I don't look in the mirror everyday and love what I see. Whether it's bags under my eyes, my tummy, or my lovable flabby arms, there will always be something I can critique about myself. The challenge is being able to see these as positives and not as being detrimental to your character. So what if your thighs jiggle when you walk? At least you can walk! Many are paralyzed and may never feel their thighs rubbing against each other again. So what if you have bags under your eyes? You might not have gotten much sleep, but you are still here today. Whether it was schoolwork, a job or even a baby that kept you awake, those are all things to be thankful of. I know this can all sound easy... but it is not.

Truthfully, I find being positive about myself quite hard. I find that it is a challenge. It can be hard to hear others praise you again and again when you can't even see your own accomplishments.

Take a step back, and pretend like someone who loves you dearly is looking at you. What would they say about your curves, hair, or nose? Do you really think they would say all the negative things you are thinking? They love you. More importantly, what would they love about your character? When you start to think about what they will say, write it down. Write everything down. Even if you think it's too minuscule to count. Every little bit counts. When you get down on yourself, give it a read. Remind yourself there is someone out there who loves you just for you. One day you'll be able to feel the same way about yourself.

It's important to love yourself at the end of the day, because no one else can do it for you. I have learned firsthand that even with a boyfriend, best friend, or someone else calling you beautiful, etc, it doesn't mean a thing if you don't truly believe that for yourself. At the end of the day, when you are not with them, it's easy to forget. At the end of the day, it is you alone with your own thoughts, personality, and body, and only you have to be content with all of those things. You must love yourself first.

I can honestly say that it's not impossible. It starts with changing your attitudes into positives and not negatives. Don't ever apologize for your body. It is uniquely you and no one can take that away from you. Love yourself from within first, and then focus on your exterior. It is only a shell and a small glimpse of who you are. Don't like something? Change it! As long you are not harming yourself or others, you have that power to change yourself by your own will power for you and don't ever forget it.

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This article has not been reviewed by Odyssey HQ and solely reflects the ideas and opinions of the creator.

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