A few weeks ago, when I was home for winter break, I ran into an old friend. We caught up, talked about all the usual stuff—friends, family, and college. When we got to the subject of her new boyfriend, and more importantly how I was single—she gave me a pitiful look and followed up with “Aw, I’m sure you’ll find someone someday.” And that is when it hit me—why is it pathetic to be single? Why is it bad to be on your own? Why is it wrong to not have someone by my side?
With Valentine’s Day coming up we will inevitably see a ton of joking and making light of the fact that a majority of us are still single. Every year there are Twitter posts, Instagram photos, and Facebook statuses making sarcastic jabs at the single population (Happy Single Awareness Day got old about 5 years ago, FYI). But I guarantee there will be slim to no posts about why it’s okay to love YOURSELF on February 14th—and every other day of the year as a matter of fact.
Loving yourself is dangerously underrated. At times, being in a relationship is dangerously overrated. Doing nice things for yourself instead of for someone else helps you grow. Cooking yourself a meal, buying yourself a gift, or sleeping in your own bed are nothing to be ashamed of--they are things to be proud of. You have to love yourself undoubtably and unconditionally.
I truly believe that you cannot judge a relationship you are not in—but I would not hesitate to say there are at least a few couples out there that are either unhappy or unfulfilled and continue to stay in their relationships because they do not want to be alone—because they are so terrified of getting the look that I did a few weeks ago.
There have been times that I have been in a relationship and been guilty of the exact same thing. I was so happy that I felt badly for my friends who were single. I thought they were missing out on something great by being single. The truth is that sometimes you are missing out on something great by not allowing yourself to be single. Humans need time alone at certain stages in their lives to grow on their own. Being alone is sometimes the only way to really grow into who you are meant to be. If you do not love yourself first, you cannot love someone else, or receive someone else’s love in a healthy way.
Being in a relationship, having someone by your side, and falling in love are some of the most beautiful things in the world. But there are thousands of other things that are just as beautiful.
So this weekend, when all your friends are at romantic dinners, or exchanging gifts with their significant others, do not allow any of that to interfere with what you are doing for yourself by being on your own. The universe has a plan for everyone, and everything does happen for a reason. I am thankful to be on my own this Valentine’s Day, and for the next 10 Valentine’s Days if that is what I need—because I am exactly where I need to be, and so are you.
This article is dedicated to my best friend, Taylor Malkin--the happiest, strongest, brightest girl I know.
