Over the years, I've had the pleasure of traveling, meeting new people, making friends, and falling in love. It's hard to explain why I am so scared of losing you. I'm an anxious person. I'll always worry. Loved ones have left our lives, some by choice, others not so much. Our hearts are fragile things. They beat and grant us the opportunity of living out our lives to the fullest extent. They create the life that we grow into. The one we hope for. Along with this, we are given a head to guide us in our decisions. This is to help balance out our hearts' desires. Without reason and logic, we would run wild in this world. Be victims to heartbreak and uncertainty.
When you fall in love with someone, you become dependent in a way you never were before. You are guided into a new version of yourself. You may not even see the changes. This person holds your fragile heart in their hands. With the flick of a switch, they could change their mind, find someone new. They could also be the one you have waited your whole life for. Loving someone and entrusting your heart with them is one of the hardest things you will do. But in the end, that is the decision that only you can make. It's your heart. Opening it may just be one of the greatest.
So why am I scared of losing you? There are so many reasons but I'll start with... I Love You. I let you in. I fell for you. I trust you with my mind, heart, body, and soul. I think of you and I smile. The laughter you have brought to my life is indescribable. In the darkest times, I think of you and the room lightens. You pull me through it. You make it better. Maybe I'm crazy. Maybe you came into my life for a reason. Anyway, I'm scared of losing you. I'm afraid of not hearing your terrible jokes. I'm afraid of not seeing your eyes staring back at me. I'm afraid of losing your love. It's terrifying because I see a future with you. I didn't know it was possible. My priorities changed. I felt something new. I see a life consumed with love, prosperity, happiness, and family. Things I never knew I wanted until they were staring me down. I would never have seen that life for me if it weren't for you. I would give anything to be able to be in that future now. I hope that you would want that too.
In the last three years, I have changed immensely. I'm not the same girl who graduated high school. I'm not the same girl that went to college. I may not even be the same girl you met, but I pray I am the same girl you fell in love with. I hope I'll be the girl you're scared of losing. Though our future is uncertain, I will be by your side until you tell me otherwise. The reason why? I love you and I'm terrified of losing you.
