Why I'm OK With Only Having A Few Close Friends

Why I'm OK With Only Having A Few Close Friends

Having close friends that treat you right is important, whether it is a bunch or just a few.
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When I was in middle school and through some of high school, I would have considered myself a social butterfly. I tried and mostly succeeded being friends with everyone, but still had a distinct group of friends that really knew me. By the middle of my junior year, I was down to four really close friends and I felt myself slowly distancing myself from the acquaintances I made years previous. By senior year, I exclusively talked to and hung out with three people. The rest of my peers ravished in their groups of friends, trying to soak up every moment they had left with them before we graduated and all headed off for college.

I realized then that a lot of the people I claimed I was "friends" with was solely based on the fact that I saw them five times a week. Two hands are not enough to count the amount of people I have not talked to since high school because we were high school friends. But that is the beauty of high school and going away to college. You discover who is actually your friend based on who contacts you when you won't be seeing them five days a week.

As college progressed, I went from three to two friends that I talked to on a weekly basis and went out of my way to see when I was home. You'd think because I went from being a social butterfly to a girl with only two close friends that I would be upset about it. But I'm not. I am so happy I have my two close friends because they have stuck around long enough for me to call them that. I am OK with not having a giant group of "best friends" that most likely gossip about each other behind their backs because if I have something to say, then I am comfortable to say it.

All of this being said does not mean that I don't have other friends. I do have friends, but not ones that I consider close ones. I still spend time with others and have wonderful memories to share with them. But it is completely OK to be 19-years-old and officially be able to say you have two very close friends in your life.

I am grateful for the friends that I do have. I am grateful for the friends I did have. And I am grateful for the friends I will have.

Cover Image Credit: Kara Hickey

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A Letter To My Go-To Aunt

Happiness is having the best aunt in the world.
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I know I don't say it enough, so let me start off by saying thank you.

You'll never understand how incredibly blessed I am to have you in my life. You'll also never understand how special you are to me and how much I love you.

I can't thank you enough for countless days and nights at your house venting, and never being too busy when I need you. Thank you for the shopping days and always helping me find the best deals on the cutest clothes. For all the appointments I didn't want to go to by myself. Thank you for making two prom days and a graduation party days I could never forget. Thank you for being overprotective when it comes to the men in my life.

Most importantly, thank you for being my support system throughout the numerous highs and lows my life has brought me. Thank you for being honest even when it isn't what I want to hear. Thank you for always keeping my feet on the ground and keeping me sane when I feel like freaking out. Thank you for always supporting whatever dream I choose to chase that day. Thank you for being a second mom. Thank you for bringing me into your family and treating me like one of your own, for making me feel special because you do not have an obligation to spend time with me.

You've been my hero and role model from the time you came into my life. You don't know how to say no when family comes to you for help. You're understanding, kind, fun, full of life and you have the biggest heart. However, you're honest and strong and sometimes a little intimidating. No matter what will always have a special place in my heart.

There is no possible way to ever thank you for every thing you have done for me and will continue to do for me. Thank you for being you.

Cover Image Credit: Pixabay

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To The Ex-Best Friend Who Made Everything A Competition, I'm Done Playing Your Game

And I'm doing OK without you.

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Dear Best Friend,

We were inseparable, attached at the hip, and I always thought that you would be in my life for forever. We did everything together: ate the worst food possible, watched the newest crappy Netflix film, cried over the boy that constantly broke our hearts, and laughed at the things that made us seem the most stupid. I loved you like a sister, and I would do anything for you, but everything started to change quickly, and it didn't make sense for me to stay.

As close as we were, things started to become a competition: who could be the happiest? Who could be the best in school? Who could find the "one" first? Even now, I sit and question why we thought that these things were supposed to strengthen our friendship when they only destroyed it. I felt like I had entered a toxic relationship, trapped in the constant annoyance that I felt in your presence, and I hate that I felt this way. But, here's the thing, you were so wrapped up in your own life and making yourself happy that you had totally forgotten that I had a life of my own. I wanted to be successful, too. I wanted to have a shoulder to cry on when I was hurt, too. I wanted to have my best friend on my side, too. But I didn't have the luxury that you did; you were my best friend, but I wasn't yours.

After months of just being there at your disposal, I finally learned what life would be like without having my best friend around, and that really sucked, if I'm being honest. Every time you called, I was there. Every time he broke your heart, I was there. Every time you needed to cry, I was there. I was behind you every step of the way, that even when my day was horrible, I made sure to answer when you called. But, when I needed you, the conversation was spun into your mandala of life, and my problems were thrust outside the lines. I was tired of being taken advantage of.

After all the ignored advice given, I finally gave up. I couldn't sit back and watch you ruin your life over a guy that obviously didn't care about your well-being or our friendship. I watched our friendship turn from something once great, something I couldn't live without, into something toxic and something I wanted no part of.

Because I knew that I had lost you a long time ago, I've spent a lot of time thinking about how I could live a happier life without you in it. I wanted to make sure that the days of being in this crazy competition were over for me, and that I could look back on this last year and know that, no matter what, I was the winner of my own happiness. And I look at you, and I truly feel sorry for you because you've spent so much time trying to give someone else your happiness. I guess what I'm trying to say is that I'm sorry that this happened. I'm sorry we grew apart. I'm sorry I wasn't able to be the friend that you needed. I'm sorry that I won't be the girl who hides behind one of her friends. I'm sorry that I have my own life, one that I'm proud of.

I'm glad we had laughs that we did. I'm glad we cried together. I'm glad that we have the amazing memories that we do.

You were my best friend, and I'll always be there for you. Just remember why I left.

With love,

Your Ex-Best Friend

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