It’s two months until I am officially a senior in college. Wait, what? Three summers ago at this time I was eighteen and about to enter college. Back then, I was a whirlwind of emotions, but my biggest worry was Pinteresting every single dorm layout there was. And three years later, I am still in the same place; minus the dorm part, thank goodness. I’m entering my senior year and know what to expect from college, but not what comes after that. This time I am a whirlwind of emotions because I have no idea what I want to do with my life.
I’m going to school for social work and love every single thing about the major. The only problem is I don’t know what I want to do with my major once I graduate. In high school they always told us to know what we wanted to do and take classes that will help us find out what our interest is. Throughout high school I went from wanting to be a graphic designer to an elementary teacher. It was during my freshman orientation that I decided social work was meant for me. I spent the first semester hating college and wanting to drop out because I didn’t see myself doing social work. Throughout the following years I told my mom at least once a semester that I didn’t want to do my major. Each time we talked about it I ended up wanting to give it one more try. Well, the last year rolls around, and I get into the upper division courses and end up loving it. However, in all my classes people would say what they wanted to go into with a clear vision and dream while I had no idea.
It’s time for me to think about where I want my internship and start to think about where I will be a year from now. I’m nervous because, once again, I’m starting to second guess myself. I know I want to do social work, but the specifics? Couldn’t tell you. If you asked me what my dream job is I couldn’t give you a straight answer. I’m starting to learn that this is the beauty of starting the rest of your life. You have no idea. You have no idea where you will live or what you will be doing. Within time and with experience everything will work itself out and work out what is meant to be.
The reason I never gave up on my major or degree was because of my mom. She told me how she loved her career but wasn't loving her job. She applied for a brand new job completely different from anything she had ever done and fell in love. She found her calling and passion in life after twenty years in her field. I'm sticking to her story and realizing that a year from now I still may have no idea what I want to do and I’m starting to accept it. I’m starting to look at the brighter side of things and having more faith in myself. If you are like me and second guessing yourself of what you want to do, relax. Why worry on the future or worry on the unknown?
I spent days worrying and stressing about the details on my future and learned that it’s only hurting myself in the end. Give yourself faith and patience and what is meant to be will be.
