If you know anything about me, you know that I love Demi Lovato. I often refer to her as “my person,” I see her live whenever I can, own tons of merch, respond to her tweets like we’re BFF’s, know all of her songs by heart, and even have a tattoo inspired by her song “Warrior.” I'm not one of those crazy/ stalker-ish fans, I just think Demi is genuinely an amazing person who has inspired me in countless ways, and also happens to be a super talented and fierce artist.
Here’s some background: I didn’t have cable when I was a kid, so I was kind of late to the whole Disney Channel party and wasn’t able to discover Demi in “Camp Rock” or “Sonny with a Chance.” I actually didn't become a Demi fan until I was almost into high school. In middle school I was definitely hanging with the wrong crowd, my friends- and I, by default- were the kids who thought Disney Channel was lame and were very into heavy metal,being rebellious, and shopping exclusively at Hot Topic. I definitely wasn’t a part of the Disney Channel's "target audience." I was also in a stage of increasing depression that I didn’t know how to treat and was starting to self-harm. When I heard reports saying that Demi had allegedly been self-harming and that she was going to rehab, I didn’t know anything about her except that she was on Disney Channel and she wasn’t much older than me, but I felt really bad that someone was going through that too, especially someone in the public eye. It wasn’t until I saw her documentary “Stay Strong” that I really got to know her story, and I was instantly inspired. After watching, I immediately researched her tour dates and told my parents that I needed to go see her on her “Unbroken” tour. After I saw her perform live for the first time, that was it. I was hooked. I was officially a Lovatic.
In 2014 I got a M&G on Demi's "Neon Lights" tour and it was the best 8 seconds of my life #blessed
In high school, I continued to struggle with depression and self-harm, but through Demi, I found new ways to cope. Through her music, she gave me an outlet for my emotions. Through her bubbly personality, she made me smile. Through her mental health advocacy, she made me feel worthy of treatment. Through her story, she made me realize recovery was possible. Demi's goofy sense of humor in addition to her strength, wisdom, and insane talent made me feel better when nothing else could. When I listened to her talk about getting help and the things she was going through, I realized I wasn't crazy, I wasn't the only one going through this. It helped immensely to know that I was not alone in what I was going through and that someone like her was speaking out in order to inspire others to get help.
I finally came clean to my mom about how I was feeling, and ended up pursuing treatment through inpatient and outpatient facilities and group therapies, as well as finding the right therapist, psychiatrist, and medications. I had been wanting to get a tattoo on my wrist to discourage my self-harming, and when I heard the song “warrior” for the first time, I knew that was what I wanted, it perfectly encompassed what I loved about Demi. I got my tattoo a few days after my 18th birthday, on the inside of my left wrist where most of my scars were. I was almost a year self-harm free then, and the tattoo was a reminder that I was stronger than my circumstances, and that I could get through anything.
Two years later I’m still a warrior, I still love Demi, and I’m coming up on my third year of recovery. If I hadn’t discovered my love for Demi, I don’t know what would have happened to me or whether I would have ever gotten treatment, but I'm definitely glad to be where I am. I am endlessly grateful for the role Demi played in inspiring my recovery, and my goal is to one day be able to help someone in the same way. If you’re reading this and are struggling with any mental illness, trauma, or situation where you feel hopeless or alone, please get the help you need. You are worth it, you are beautiful, and you deserve to be happy and healthy. You are warriors, keep fighting. It's worth it.
