I know people my age who are in wonderful relationships -- like once in a lifetime fuzzy on the inside relationships. They send each other cute text messages, they cook dinner for each other, and they are occasionally downright sickening to be around. It’s these kind of relationships that make it obvious I’m alone for a reason. I can barely make it through hearing one side of that gooey, adorable conversation without feeling my stomach churn, much less actually be in one.
At the same time, I complain about my chronic loneliness, whine about yet another random date to yet another date party, and throw myself a pity party after my taken friend turns down another date offer from some guy in her class. As much as I complain about people in relationships, I complain just as much about being single.
Here’s the real truth -- I really am happy being single. After my last relationship, I decided I needed to work on myself before I got invested in anyone else. I saw how easy it was for the person I was to get lost in a relationship that wasn’t as perfect as it could be, and honestly that scared me.
As a 20-something, I’m still trying to find myself, and I’m blessed to be able to experience everything that comes with becoming the person that I’m meant to be. Someday, I know that will mean being in a relationship with someone who is a perfect match for the person I’ll always be maturing into.
For now, I’m going to work on not complaining as much. Life is a crazy ride, and I’m perfectly fine not having a passenger in the seat next to me. I’m not jealous of my friends and their perfect relationships -- they deserve to be happy. I’m happy too, just in a more solitary, date night with Ben & Jerry kind of way.
Ultimately, that’s what’s important. Are you happy? Are you happy with yourself? Does that person make you happy? Who cares what anyone else thinks as long as this is true. Stay happy, and most of all, stay true to yourself. Don’t lie or cheat yourself out of who you’re meant to be. That is after all how I started this forever alone journey.
Happiness is a crazy thing; it comes in so many forms and from so many different people. Instead of relying on that significant other for happiness, try calling your mom, taking a walk, or giving a stranger a compliment. You never know exactly where a smile will take you and that one leap of faith may lead you down a whole greater path to self discovery. The simplest thing can completely change your day, or your life.
I know one day my prince will come, riding into town in an old school convertible with an indie film and a plate of brownies, but until then I’m just fine on my own. Actually, I’m more than fine -- I’m happy.
