Why "I'm Not Like Other Girls" Is Harmful

Why "I'm Not Like Other Girls" Is Harmful

Who are the other girls? Why is it so bad to be like them?
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“I’m not like other girls” is a line I grew up hearing in movies. Romantic comedies, independent films, take your pick. There is almost always a girl who is deemed “quirky” or “different” and states (or has this statement said about her) that she is not like the “other” girls. My question is: who are the other girls? And why is it so bad to be like them?


We have harvested a culture saturated in women putting other women down for not being like them. “I’m not like other girls” could mean that you don’t like to shop, you don’t like to do your hair, etc. This statement is so harmful because it is promoting an idea that there is a certain “type” of girl we are all supposed to be and stepping outside of that box is either applauded or condemned. If you are “different,” people will judge you. According to movies, if you are “different,” the popular boy (who happens to be the quarterback and the student body president) will pick you up like a diamond in the rough and love you because you’re not like “the others.”

This idea that women can be sorted in “not like” and “like” categories is what fuels an already sexist environment. Being “like” the “other” girls more than likely means that you love the color pink, shopping, drama and boys. It could also mean that when you think of your future, you imagine a white-picket fence and two and a half children. The “not like” category is more than likely a girl who likes the color black, art, non-drama and doesn’t care about boys at all. When she thinks of her future, she more than likely imagines the exact opposite of what the “other girls” imagine because she’s not like the “others.” What I just described is exactly what is wrong with the statement, “I’m not like other girls.” When women put other women into a box of this-or-that, we make it okay for society (and in particular, men) to put us into a box.

Whether you like to assume “traditional” gender roles or not makes no difference to how much of a woman you are. If you like to assume these roles, good for you! If you don’t like to assume traditional gender roles, good for you, too! There is a dialogue happening when we encourage traditional gender roles. Saying that you aren’t like a certain subset of your gender puts down girls that identify that way. That’s not OK. The way you choose to live your life makes no difference in the way they live theirs. We should not have these “roles” we have to fit into but we also shouldn’t have these “roles” we don’t fit into as a way to distinguish ourselves from the crowd and elevate ourselves above fellow women.

It’s not a competition of who’s “quirkier” or who’s “not girly.” You, in your own personal identity, are a woman. If you choose to identify as a woman, you can act whatever way you want to. The idea that it is more marketable and appealing to not be like the “others” is what fuels a sexist society. So, the next time you think, “I’m not like other girls,” maybe take a step back and ask yourself, "Who are the other girls? How are my differences making me a “better” woman than them?" Finally, ask yourself, "Why do I feel the need to not be like other girls?"

Cover Image Credit: Tumblr

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7 Lies From F*ckboys That We've All Fallen For At Least Once

They might've had you goin' for a hot second, but you know better now.
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There’s no use in even frontin’; we’ve all been there. You know he’s a f*ckboy from the beginning, but you’re interested in pursuing him anyway. Ain't no thang; I fully support you.

You tell yourself you won’t fall for his games or lies because you’ve been through it all so many times before. Yet, time and time again, you find yourself slippin’ for a hot second, wanting to give him the benefit of the doubt until he inevitably disappoints you. Here are the top seven lies you’ve heard from f*ckboys that get you heated every time.

1. You’re the only girl I’m talking to/sleeping with


HAHAHA. OK, first, I don't actually care what (or who) you're doing in your spare time because you're definitely not the only guy I'm seeing either. I'm just asking so I know you're clean, OK? I don't need more stress in my life.

2. I know how to treat girls right

Isn't it super ironic how the WORST f*ckboys are the ones to toss this line?

3. I’ll text you

This statement is so unbelievable that on the off chance that they do actually text you, you basically fall out of your chair in shock.

4. I’m gonna give it to you good

I cry/cringe/die of laughter every time I hear this one because it's always the mediocre ones that throw this line. None of my most memorable hookups have ever said this because their actions clearly speak for them. Mediocre boys, TAKE NOTE.

5. Damn, I wanted to see you though

Well, you were supposed to, but then you clearly had other plans in mind. So the desire wasn’t all that intense, obviously.

6. Yeah, she and I broke up

CLASSIC LIE. CLASSIC. Sure, I believed it the first couple of times, but don’t even try that sh*t with me after I see she’s still blowin’ up your line.

7. *No response for hours after making plans* Damn, sorry I fell asleep


Honestly, how many times are you gonna throw that line when you’re literally viewable on Snap Map. BOY, I see you at someone else’s house. Stop frontin’, there’s no point.


Again, don't ask me why we put up with this sh*t because the mystery remains. I guess in our own sick, twisted ways, we crave the dramatics and thrills that come from their f*ckery. Whatever the reason, though, at least we've got some ~fun~ stories to tell.

Cover Image Credit: YouTube | I'm Shmacked

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From Practices To Performances, Dance Teams Take Over Stony Brook University

I found a community of people who finally shared my interests that I hid for years. It's great to finally have a crew who all cares about the same thing.

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While many students at Stony Brook University like to go home or to the library on late nights, dance teams take over academic buildings around campus to practice for performances.

Practicing in places like Earth and Space Sciences, Social and Behavioral Sciences and Center for Leadership and Service, groups like KBS, CDT and PUSO Modern practice two or three times a week to prepare for events like Seawolves Showcase and Asian Night and for competitions like the Prelude Dance Competition.

The KBS Dance Team, a group that focuses on dancing to K-Pop and K-Hip-Hop, has performed at events on campus like CASB Cultural Carnival and Asian Night. The team even has a subgroup of some members of the team who have extra practices and experiment with different styles of music and dance.

Nicole Lombino, a KBS manager said, "I found a community of people who finally shared my interests that I hid for years. It's great to finally have a crew who all cares about the same thing."

This semester, KBS had practices twice a week and practiced for about two hours at each practice. The director and the two managers lead practice which includes presenting choreography, learning new dances, creating dance formations and cleaning members' movements to look as neat as possible before performances.

"KBS isn't a competitive team so you're not pressured to compete with anyone or beat someone else at something," Tina Ng, the current director of KBS and a member of CDT said, "You're just doing it for fun."

Many members on the team are freshmen and have never danced before being on KBS.

"Even in this one semester, I've seen them grow as dancers," Lombino said, "From the first to second performance, it's staggering how much they've improved."

Dancing on a team at Stony Brook University is more than just a club, it's a commitment. And members on the executive board of dance teams have to organize performances, make sure practices run smoothly, and serve as mentors for their teammates.

"I'm responsible for this team and my eboard and I have to share the weight and any difficulties," Iris Au, a KBS manager said. "I have to actively participate and contribute to the team, which is different from when I was just a team member."

The breakdancing club on campus, the Stony Brook Breakers, have open practices and have members that help people learn breakdancing, regardless of skill. They practice in the Health Sciences Tower and the university's Recreation Center.

Breakdancing moves like windmills, headspins and baby spins are moves that the Breakers have had to work hard to learn and are still difficult for members.

While many dance teams hold auditions to be in the group, a couple of teams hold dance workshops where anyone can attend to learn short pieces, usually between 30 seconds and one minute.

Adam Sotero, a member of the dance team Deja Vu, helped organize a workshop featuring guest teachers from PUSO Modern, Cadence Step Team and Heartbreak Crew.

"The purpose of the workshop was to engage more in the dance community and showcase everyone's different styles," Sotero said. "My favorite part about these events is engaging with other members of the dance community, whether they are old or new friends."

Apart from members of Deja Vu, over 50 people attended the workshop that was held in SAC Ballroom A. The attendees learned two hip-hop pieces and one step dancing piece.

CDT also held three workshop days two weeks ago, featuring teachers from CDT, KBS, and Outburst Dance Company. The workshops focused on K-Pop, hip-hop and urban dance.

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