Why "I'm Not Like Other Girls" Is Harmful

Why "I'm Not Like Other Girls" Is Harmful

Who are the other girls? Why is it so bad to be like them?
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“I’m not like other girls” is a line I grew up hearing in movies. Romantic comedies, independent films, take your pick. There is almost always a girl who is deemed “quirky” or “different” and states (or has this statement said about her) that she is not like the “other” girls. My question is: who are the other girls? And why is it so bad to be like them?


We have harvested a culture saturated in women putting other women down for not being like them. “I’m not like other girls” could mean that you don’t like to shop, you don’t like to do your hair, etc. This statement is so harmful because it is promoting an idea that there is a certain “type” of girl we are all supposed to be and stepping outside of that box is either applauded or condemned. If you are “different,” people will judge you. According to movies, if you are “different,” the popular boy (who happens to be the quarterback and the student body president) will pick you up like a diamond in the rough and love you because you’re not like “the others.”

This idea that women can be sorted in “not like” and “like” categories is what fuels an already sexist environment. Being “like” the “other” girls more than likely means that you love the color pink, shopping, drama and boys. It could also mean that when you think of your future, you imagine a white-picket fence and two and a half children. The “not like” category is more than likely a girl who likes the color black, art, non-drama and doesn’t care about boys at all. When she thinks of her future, she more than likely imagines the exact opposite of what the “other girls” imagine because she’s not like the “others.” What I just described is exactly what is wrong with the statement, “I’m not like other girls.” When women put other women into a box of this-or-that, we make it okay for society (and in particular, men) to put us into a box.

Whether you like to assume “traditional” gender roles or not makes no difference to how much of a woman you are. If you like to assume these roles, good for you! If you don’t like to assume traditional gender roles, good for you, too! There is a dialogue happening when we encourage traditional gender roles. Saying that you aren’t like a certain subset of your gender puts down girls that identify that way. That’s not OK. The way you choose to live your life makes no difference in the way they live theirs. We should not have these “roles” we have to fit into but we also shouldn’t have these “roles” we don’t fit into as a way to distinguish ourselves from the crowd and elevate ourselves above fellow women.

It’s not a competition of who’s “quirkier” or who’s “not girly.” You, in your own personal identity, are a woman. If you choose to identify as a woman, you can act whatever way you want to. The idea that it is more marketable and appealing to not be like the “others” is what fuels a sexist society. So, the next time you think, “I’m not like other girls,” maybe take a step back and ask yourself, "Who are the other girls? How are my differences making me a “better” woman than them?" Finally, ask yourself, "Why do I feel the need to not be like other girls?"

Cover Image Credit: Tumblr

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When You Give A Girl A Dad

You give her everything
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They say that any male can be a father, but it takes a special person to be a dad. That dads are just the people that created the child, so to speak, but rather, dads raise their children to be the best they can be. Further, when you give a little girl a dad, you give her much more than a father; you give her the world in one man.


When you give a girl a dad, you give her a rock.

Life is tough, and life is constantly changing directions and route. In a world that's never not moving, a girl needs something stable. She needs something that won't let her be alone; someone that's going to be there when life is going great, and someone who is going to be there for her when life is everything but ideal. Dads don't give up on this daughters, they never will.


When you give a girl a dad, you give her a role model.

If we never had someone to look up to, we would never have someone to strive to be. When you give a little girl someone to look up to, you give her someone to be. We copy their mannerisms, we copy their habits, and we copy their work ethic. Little girls need someone to show them the world, so that they can create their own.


When you give a girl a dad, you give her the first boy she will ever love.

And I'm not really sure someone will ever be better than him either. He's the first guy to take your heart, and every person you love after him is just a comparison to his endless, unmatchable love. He shows you your worth, and he shows you what your should be treated like: a princess.


When you give a girl a dad, you give her someone to make proud.

After every softball game, soccer tournament, cheerleading competition, etc., you can find every little girl looking up to their dads for their approval. Later in life, they look to their dad with their grades, internships, and little accomplishments. Dads are the reason we try so hard to be the best we can be. Dads raised us to be the very best at whatever we chose to do, and they were there to support you through everything. They are the hardest critics, but they are always your biggest fans.


When you give a girl a dad, you give her a credit card.

It's completely true. Dads are the reason we have the things we have, thank the Lord. He's the best to shop with too, since he usually remains outside the store the entire time till he is summoned in to forge the bill. All seriousness, they always give their little girls more than they give themselves, and that's something we love so much about you.


When you give a girl a dad, you give her a shoulder to cry on.

When you fell down and cut yourself, your mom looked at you and told you to suck it up. But your dad, on the other hand, got down on the ground with you, and he let you cry. Then later on, when you made a mistake, or broke up with a boy, or just got sad, he was there to dry your tears and tell you everything was going to be okay, especially when you thought the world was crashing down. He will always be there to tell you everything is going to be okay, even when they don't know if everything is going to be okay. That's his job.


When you give a girl a dad, you give her a lifelong best friend.

My dad was my first best friend, and he will be my last. He's stood by me when times got tough, he carried me when I just couldn't do it anymore, and he yelled at me when I deserved it; but the one thing he has never done was give up on me. He will always be the first person I tell good news to, and the last person I ever want to disappoint. He's everything I could ever want in a best friend and more.


Dads are something out of a fairytale. They are your prince charming, your knight in shinny amour, and your fairy godfather. Dads are the reasons we are the people we are today; something that a million "thank you"' will never be enough for.

Cover Image Credit: tristen duhon

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5 Songs Tony Stark Has Definitely Blasted As Iron Man

Iron Man, Iron Maiden, iron playlist!

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If you've never thought about what kind of music Iron Man would bop to, where even have you been? As a diehard Marvel fan, I've done more than my own fair share of reading up on canon facts, fics, and more when it comes to Tony Stark.

One of my first loves, RDJ's egocentric billionaire-turned-world saver is for real the love of my life. As a metalhead, who wouldn't? Tony has an impeccable music taste! We already know he tinkers to Suicidal Tendencies, per the first film in the franchise, so... keeping true to MCU lore, I present to you five songs that Tony would most definitely blast through the Iron Man suit.

"For Whom the Bell Tolls" - Metallica, 1984

In the comic series Iron Man: Hypervelocity, Tony makes many references to an extensive playlist "heavily skewed" to '80s metal. If you don't have Metallica in that playlist, who even are you? This is a good track that perhaps compliments ACDC's Hell's Bell's featured as a prominent in the franchise.

"Amerika" - Rammstein, 2004

I imagine an alternative universe where Tony is a hardcore Euro metal fan. I am also completely confident that Tony would appreciate this song because I feel as if he becomes disenchanted with the uber materialism, flippant view of struggle in other countries, and the overall push for "Americanization" that he starts to take notice of following the first film...

"Back in the Saddle" - Aerosmith, 1976

I can see Iron Man digging in and working in his shop, be it on a muscle car or the latest Stark technologies. I feel like this is one of those songs that gets the ol' Stark blood pumpin', especially when he needs to be most in the zone.

"Irresistible" - Fall Out Boy, 2015

I also have an alternative universe where Tony is a post-MCR emo who has a lot of feelings, and he needs this song to cope with his relationship with Pepper — especially pre-Spiderman: Homecoming.

"Mad Sounds" - Arctic Monkeys, 2013

"Mad sounds in your ears, they make you get up and dance"

Iron Man is a softie, and we know it. He is not always the rock solid, mucho charismatic sex god we see on the outside. Tony is a flawed man. He has made mistakes, but I still think he needs a feel-good song — even if this one is tinged with a bit of melancholy. This track comes from my fav Arctic Monkeys album, and I firmly believe Tony needs this one. I like to think he sings it sleepily to Pepper in bed on a Sunday morning.

I hope this playlist satisfies that MCU fix you were craving because I know it did mine. Maybe check out these songs for yourself, and see if you can find a little bit of Tony in each.

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