Why "I'm Not Like Other Girls" Is Harmful

Why "I'm Not Like Other Girls" Is Harmful

Who are the other girls? Why is it so bad to be like them?
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“I’m not like other girls” is a line I grew up hearing in movies. Romantic comedies, independent films, take your pick. There is almost always a girl who is deemed “quirky” or “different” and states (or has this statement said about her) that she is not like the “other” girls. My question is: who are the other girls? And why is it so bad to be like them?


We have harvested a culture saturated in women putting other women down for not being like them. “I’m not like other girls” could mean that you don’t like to shop, you don’t like to do your hair, etc. This statement is so harmful because it is promoting an idea that there is a certain “type” of girl we are all supposed to be and stepping outside of that box is either applauded or condemned. If you are “different,” people will judge you. According to movies, if you are “different,” the popular boy (who happens to be the quarterback and the student body president) will pick you up like a diamond in the rough and love you because you’re not like “the others.”

This idea that women can be sorted in “not like” and “like” categories is what fuels an already sexist environment. Being “like” the “other” girls more than likely means that you love the color pink, shopping, drama and boys. It could also mean that when you think of your future, you imagine a white-picket fence and two and a half children. The “not like” category is more than likely a girl who likes the color black, art, non-drama and doesn’t care about boys at all. When she thinks of her future, she more than likely imagines the exact opposite of what the “other girls” imagine because she’s not like the “others.” What I just described is exactly what is wrong with the statement, “I’m not like other girls.” When women put other women into a box of this-or-that, we make it okay for society (and in particular, men) to put us into a box.

Whether you like to assume “traditional” gender roles or not makes no difference to how much of a woman you are. If you like to assume these roles, good for you! If you don’t like to assume traditional gender roles, good for you, too! There is a dialogue happening when we encourage traditional gender roles. Saying that you aren’t like a certain subset of your gender puts down girls that identify that way. That’s not OK. The way you choose to live your life makes no difference in the way they live theirs. We should not have these “roles” we have to fit into but we also shouldn’t have these “roles” we don’t fit into as a way to distinguish ourselves from the crowd and elevate ourselves above fellow women.

It’s not a competition of who’s “quirkier” or who’s “not girly.” You, in your own personal identity, are a woman. If you choose to identify as a woman, you can act whatever way you want to. The idea that it is more marketable and appealing to not be like the “others” is what fuels a sexist society. So, the next time you think, “I’m not like other girls,” maybe take a step back and ask yourself, "Who are the other girls? How are my differences making me a “better” woman than them?" Finally, ask yourself, "Why do I feel the need to not be like other girls?"

Cover Image Credit: Tumblr

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22 New Things That I Want To Try Now That I'm 22

A bucket list for my 22nd year.

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"I don't know about you but I'm feelin' 22," I have waited 6 long years to sing that and actually be 22! Now 22 doesn't seem like a big deal to people because you can't do anything that you couldn't do before and you're still super young. But I'm determined to make my 22nd year a year filled with new adventures and new experiences. So here's to 22.

1. Go sky diving.

What's crazier than jumping out of a plane? (Although I'll probably try indoor skydiving first.)

2. Go cliff jumping/diving.

I must be the only Rhode Islander who hasn't gone to Jamestown and jumped off a cliff.

3. Ride in a hor air balloon.

Up, up and away.

4. Try out skiing.

Cash me in the next Olympics, how bout dat.

5. Try out snow boarding.

Shawn White, I'm coming for you.

6. Go bungee jumping.

Because at least this time I'll be attached to something.

7. Go to Portugal.

I mean I'm Portuguese so I have to go at some point, right?

8. Go to Cape Verde.

Once again, I'm Cape Verdean so I have to go.

9. Vist one of the seven wonders of the world.

I mean hey, Egypt's on, my bucket list.

10. Try out surfing.

It's only natural that somebody from the Ocean State knows how to surf.

11. Learn a new langauge.

Because my little bit of Portuguese, Spanish and Latin isn't cutting it anymore.

12. Travel to a state that I've never been to before.

Fun fact: I've only been to 17 of the 50 states.

13. Go paddle boarding.

Pretty boring but I've never done it.

14. Go scuba diving.

I'm from the Ocean State so I guess I should see the ocean up close and personal.

15. Learn how to line dance.

There's actually a barn in my state that does line dancing, so this one will definitely get crossed off.

16. Go kayaking.

All this water around me and I haven't done a lot of the water activites.

17. Stay the night in a haunted hotel room.

I bet if I got my friends to come with me, it would be like the Suite Life of Zach and Cody episode, minus the ghost coming out of the wall but you never know.

18. Get my palms read.

Because who doesn't want to know their future.

19. Go to a medium.

Like a medium that can communicate with people that have died.

20. Take a helicopter ride.

Air plane: check Helicopter:....

21. Sleep under the stars.

Because sleeping in a tent is more like glamping than camping

22. Just to try new things in my everyday life.

Whether it's trying a new restaurant, getting something different at my usual restaurants, changing my usual style, going on the scary rides at amusement parks, and bringing things I used to do back into my life now.

Cover Image Credit:

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5 World Cup Teams To Help You Decide Who To Follow

With the U.S. out of the World Cup, here are some teams that you can follow to get your World Cup fix.

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After the United States' disappointing loss to Trinidad and Tobago, many American's have found themselves at a loss for a team to support in this year's World Cup. But with over 32 nations sending teams this year, there is no shortage in teams for fans to support throughout the cup. From the five-time champion Brazilians to the hometown heroes in Russia, here are some favorites for you to support for the remainder of the World Cup.

1. Brazil

Brazil's 2018 World Cup Team

Credit: Seleção Brasileira de Futebol Instagram

A historically winning team, Brazil holds the most World Cup titles with five.

If you thought that number was impressive, their roster is even more impressive. Brazil has a star-studded roster with players like Gabriel Jesus, Philipe Coutinho, Neymar, Fernandinho, Danilo, and Ederson. Although they had to settle with a tie in their game with Switzerland, the combination of the amazing fan base, more than capable roster, and rich history could propel this team to number six.

2. England

England's 2018 World Cup Team

Credit: England's Instagram

A classic favorite, this year's team will be trying to create a new image of English soccer. England is currently in a 52 year title drought. But, with this young and promising team led by captain Harry Kane, the drought could soon be over.

Aside from striker Harry Kane, England has plenty of scorers in Dele Ali, Marcus Rashford, Raheem Sterling, and Ruben Loftus-Cheek.

Not only does this team have world-class player, but they are led by a World Cup tested coach. Gareth Southgate was a midfielder/defender the 1998 World Cup team that made it out of the group stage into the knockout stage. His experience on the world's biggest stage will give his players a sense of security in their ability to move move past the knockout stage.

England was tested in their first game of the cup facing a talented Tunisian team. The two teams held in a deadlock until added time when Harry Kane put a header in the goal to give England the lead and the win.

3. Germany

Germany's 2018 World Cup Team

Credit: DFB Instagram

The reigning World Cup Champions are coming back to defend their title, adding number five to the trophy shelf. With only minor changes being made to the roster, the team is full of experience and those who are new to the team have the ability to rely on the older players to help guide them through the cup.

With Julian Draxler and Manuel Neuer providing a strong attack and sound goalkeeping, the team is more than capable of bouncing back from their stunning loss to Mexico.

4. Iceland

Iceland's 2018 World Cup Team

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The underdogs of this year's World Cup, Iceland has already begun to make noise. This year the team will be led by captain Aron Gunnarsson. Gunnarsson has made 77 appearances for this national team and in 2016 led them in the UEFA Euro Cup where they lost in the quarterfinals.

The energy from this underdog team doesn't just come from the players and their manager, but from the incredible fan base. If you choose to root for Iceland you will also have to learn their chant that has captivated all. Dubbed the 'Icelandic Thunderclap' this tribute to their viking ancestors is not only intimidating to opponents, but electrifying for the Iceland players. The clap is led by a single drum calling the tempo of the crowd gaining not only sound but speed as well.

Not only does this team give all they can on the field, but their fans are also willing to leave it all in the stands for their team.

5. Russia

Russia's 2018 World Cup Team

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As the hometown heroes, Russia has already made big waves in their group. Their first game against Saudi Arabia showed the teams strong attacking mindset as they beat the Saudis 5-0. Led by veteran goalkeeper and captain, Igor Akinfeev, his presence will provide a much needed leadership role and experience for the younger players on this Russian team.

Along with Akinfeev, rising star midfielder Aleksandr Golovin will provide Russia with the creativity and youth in this cup. Not only does this team have a great mix of new and old, this team has also shown the strides it has made in recent years to give Russians a team they so desperately needed.

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