On the day of my wedding, I was 21 years old and my wife, Emily, was 20. As a young man in America, I grew up always hearing that I should “give it plenty of time” before I ever thought about being married. The said to make sure that I didn’t try to abandon the "bachelor life" too quickly because I would miss out on all the fun that I could have.
Too often, young men and women are encouraged to look at marriage as something that will hold them back from the fun and adventure that being single can offer them. As a result, we see an increasing number of people that have trouble committing to relationships and marriages because the thought of “abandoning” their freedom terrifies them; they worry that they are going to miss out on so much in life if they allow themselves to be “tied down.”
I’m here to tell you that nothing can be farther from the truth. Although I am now only 23 years old and only 2 years into my marriage, I can tell you that I have never felt held back by my wife or my marriage. Everything about our relationship was fast-moving, but at the same time, it didn’t feel fast enough!
We met when we were both 19 years old, and within 2 weeks, I was already looking for engagement rings, because I knew I was going to spend my life with her. After 9 months of dating, we were engaged. After 9 months of being engaged, we were married. Though many around us made the decision to graduate college before marrying, we decided that we wouldn’t wait. As a result, we were married less than 2 years after meeting each other for the first time. Although it did bring new challenges and adjustments to life, it brought both of us a joy that could not easily be described.
Being married does require both people to make sacrifices in areas of their lives out of respect to the other person, but in a loving marriage, it hardly feels like a sacrifice. Rather, you are able to find joy in bringing joy to your spouse, even when it involves compromising what you may actually want. Seeing the joy in your spouse’s life begins to bring you joy. This is true for any loving marriage though, and not exclusive to marriages that begin at a young age. The benefit of finding your spouse at a young age is the amount of time that you are now able to spend with that person.
At the same time, there is nothing wrong with those who choose to stay single for longer in life, because each side has its benefits. This is only to show that marrying young is in no way a hindrance of freedom, or to the amount of adventure that you can have in life. For me, every single day with Emily is an adventure of its own, and I have never looked back and wished that we had waited any longer than we did. I am thankful for every second that I am able to spend with her, regardless of whatever “sacrifices” I have had to make.
Yes, being married does mean that I can’t just take off for a night out with the guys anytime I want without a second thought. Yes, it means that I have to be even more conscious about what I spend my time and money on because I am no longer responsible for only myself. But marriage also means that I will have my best friend as my biggest cheerleader through all of the challenges and difficult times that life may throw my way. Finding the person that you truly love more than anyone else leaves you wanting nothing more than to be with them as much as possible. And when you know your “forever person” is standing right in front of you, you can’t help but want “forever” to start as soon as possible.
The goal of marriage is to grow old together, but beginning my marriage while my wife and I were so young has afforded us the opportunity to grow up together before we begin to grow old together. Instead of getting to hear about all the adventures that my wife had before we met, I get to be a part of them! We have the privilege to get to know each other while each of us begins to navigate adulthood and figure life out together. I don’t have to tell my wife about what I did during my 20’s because I will get to experience them with her. I know that there will never be a point in my life that I look back and wish that I had more time to live as a single man, but rather, I will look back fondly at all the memories that I was able to make alongside my wife, while I continue to look ahead to the adventure to come.
Being married to a person you love can bring joy to any person, but being married to your best friend gives you a joy that is indescribable. I’m glad that I am able to experience that joy every single day at such a young age and to carry it into the rest of my life as my wife and I continue to walk down this path that has been laid ahead of us. There is never a moment that I look back and wish that we had waited any longer than we did. I am happy that I was “tied down” at 21.
