Why I'm Finally Choosing Me

Why I'm Finally Choosing Me

And why it's completely okay.
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I'm the type of person that will always put the entire world before me, no matter what. If I'm having a horrible day, but so is someone else, I will brush my feelings under the rug and give them my heart to dump their worries and sorrows into. Now, there is certainly nothing wrong with being a selfless person and being a friend to those who need it. However, there is a line that should be drawn. A line that allows you to live your life and get the help and love that you need without absorbing the rest of the world's issues, negativity and concerns.

My entire life I have never known what this fine line was, and it's still just vaguely recognizable, but it's becoming all the more clear to me as I grow each and every day. I never understood that it was okay for me to solely focus on myself, my needs, and my happiness, until focusing on myself was the only choice that I had. People who give the most, often receive the least, and can very easily be taken advantage of or taken for granted. Recently I have learned that although I do have those people who will give and take with me in a healthy way, there are more people than not who will take what they want and leave you out to dry.

This is why I am finally choosing me. Yes, I need support along the way from those people that I trust with my life, but I have to learn to have the strength to stand up on my own. It's not easy to say, you know what, no, I'm not going to be there for this person today because I'm having a rough day and need to get myself back on track. In fact, sometimes it really, really sucks to think in that mindset; it feels so selfish and cruel. However, in life, your health and your happiness ultimately come first, and there will always be another person who is having a better day than you who can be there for that other someone.

Being the shoulder to cry on all of the time will only bring you down. I'm choosing me so that I can be fully happy in this life. I'm choosing me so that I can be so sure of myself that I won't feel awful if I just can't be there for someone one day. I'm choosing me because I am just as important as the next person and I deserve to feel that way about myself.

It's going to take some time, and it's not going to be easy, but I know that putting myself first for the first time in my life is the biggest step in the right direction I've taken in a long time. At the end of the day, you are the sailor of your own ship. Don't rely on anyone else to direct your sails. Learn to do it all on your own.

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10 Reasons Your Big Sister Is The Best Person In Your Life

"There is no better friend than a sister, and there is no better sister than you."
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As much as I hate to admit it, my big sister might be sort-of, slightly, cooler than I am.

Sometimes. She's the one I call when I can't call mom and the only one in the family who can properly handle my attitude. Big sisters are the people you'd choose if they weren't already family, and here's why.

1. She is your first and truest friend.

Big sisters are (literally) there from day one. They see every dirty diaper, every bad haircut, and every melodramatic breakup. They deal with every bad day and drama queen attitude and still love you in the most unconditional way.

2. Her closet is your closet.

For some reason, her clothes always look better on you. Funny how that works, huh? With a big sister comes a big closet, and who doesn't love having a double wardrobe? I'd also like to take this opportunity to apologize for the clothes I will never give back (but I'm not really that sorry).

3. She knows what it's like to deal with your parents.

Anything you could possibly be going through, they went through it first. It's kind of like having an instruction manual or a key to the future. Either way, it's always nice to have someone who will always understand the struggle.

4. There are no boundaries.

Wanna dance around in your underwear all day? Cool. Life talks while she's on the toilet? Also cool. There's no awkward moments or changing in the bathroom with the door locked. There's just the kind of freedom that only comes with siblings.

5. Thanks to her, you know about all of the cool movies/music/fashion trends from years back.

Thanks to my sister, I have every Too $hort and Ludacris song you could ever think of downloaded on my phone. I've seen every cheesy '90s movie, and when a fad from 10 years ago comes back in, I already have the hookup.

6. She tells you like it is.

We all have those friends who tend to sugarcoat everything. Yeah, sisters don't do that. She's the first person to tell me when I'm making a terrible decision and that I really shouldn't triple text that boy again. She keeps it real with me and deals with my attitude, and that's why she's the best.

7. Her home is always open.

Sometimes you just need to get away from life and binge watch Netflix, and sometimes you need all of that plus your sister. She always has her door open when you're two seconds away from losing your mind, and she also has good takeout and a dog.

8. She knows what you're capable of.

My sister knows exactly who I am and what I can do. She knows when I'm not doing my best, and when I need to be set straight. She's always there to remind me who I am and what I'm capable of accomplishing. She's always been my biggest fan.

9. She's a lot cheaper than therapy.

For some reason, my sister always knows just what to say. Even if I don't see it at the time, she's usually right (don't tell her I said that). Big sisters are like wizards, somehow they always magically make you feel like life's gonna turn out alright in the end. If she wasn't already awesome at everything else, I'd suggest she be a therapist.

10. She will always be your go-to gal.

No matter the situation, she will always be by your side. There is nothing you could say or do to make a big sister leave, and that's why they're the best. Whether it's a speeding ticket, a mean girl or you just need to laugh, big sisters are always going to be there to lift your spirits and set you straight.

I couldn't make it without ya sis, I'm sorry for ratting you out on Thanksgiving that one time, and for running away at the zoo. Thanks for taking me to see Aaron Carter even though he's way too old to still be singing "I want Candy," and thank you always for being the best role model, sister and friend I could ask for.

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Poetry On The Odyssey: It's a Girl

An ode to the little girl raised to be insecure.

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They raise little girls to be insecure

Little girls grow to be big girls

People always ask big girls why they're so insecure

Big girls aren't quite sure

Day after day the big girl can't keep up

She's exhausted

Her soul feels worn

The big girl learns to grow hard

In a way, she's a bit stronger

People call her a bitch

Bitch

What is that?

How can she let that affect her

It's simply the only way to be her

She mourns that little girl

Hoping that one day

She'll be strong


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