Too often in my years of young adulthood have I chosen others instead of myself. By that, I mean I choose to date, and date a lot. I used to tell myself and others that I am dating with a purpose because I want to find someone for me. I talked it up to make it seem like I have been doing it for me, when all along, I have not been quite honest with myself. I chose to date because I was craving the affection and the attention that a man would give me. Nice dates, dinners, good morning and good night texts: anything that could be given to me to make me feel wanted. Until recently, I have felt that I need someone there to make me feel complete, when in reality, I do not need anyone else but myself.

I'm choosing me because I am tired of placing my happiness in someone else's hands. I want to be able to make myself happy, not rely on a man to make me happy. I am tired of having sleepless nights and tear soaked pillows because of someone else. I am tired of allowing other people the power over me to affect my happiness. Now I am choosing to do the things I want to do, and the things that make me happy. I am making myself happy instead of waiting for someone else to do it for me.

I'm choosing me because I need to fall in love with myself again. There was a time when I loved myself and I was always doing things for myself. Lately, I have been doing things for everyone but myself and telling myself it was for my benefit. I need to re-educate myself on, well, myself. I need to get back into hobbies, activities, and other things that I enjoy. I need to figure out what I want out of life, and I'm the only one who can figure that out. I need to understand what it is like to truly be in love with the woman I am and the woman I am becoming. I always give my heart and give myself to those around me; it's time to start taking myself in and living like I want to.

I'm choosing me because I want to get back into hobbies I enjoy. I love reading, writing, and painting, and those are things that while I was with someone I did not do nearly as often as I wanted. Not only do I want to pick up things I enjoy doing, I also want to find new things I enjoy doing. I want to enjoy things on my own first, and discover things I enjoy without a man at my side because when I do that activity, I don't want it tainted with the memories of what used to be. I want to do things I love and then when the time is right, invite someone to accompany me for those activities.

I'm choosing me because I want to be healthy. My past relationships have not always been the best or have not ended the best. I give so much of myself to others that when it is over, I feel as if I have nothing left for myself. I was not mentally healthy. I was either depressed about the end of my relationships or so nonchalant about it that I became numb to what a relationship is supposed to be like. I went from relationship to relationship trying to mask my hurt and it only made me feel so much worse about myself. This made it to where I became distant from friends, family, and anyone else in my life. I was only focused on what was happening to me and I tried to cover up the hurt of one man by meeting another. It is not healthy.

I'm choosing me because I am choosing God. I know that there is nothing that says a woman cannot date, however, I have not been taking the time to strengthen my relationship with God. I need to take the time to grow more in my faith, learn to love myself as God loves me, and push myself to be the woman God has set out for me to become. I do not need to worry about when I will meet the "man of my dreams" because I know that God has him waiting for me for when the time is right.

I'm choosing me because I am tired of doing things for other people. It's time to be a little selfish. I want to workout for myself, not because I want to look better for someone else. I want to wear heels out on a Friday night because I want to feel good about myself, not so that a man will tell me I look good. I want to be able to take a weekend, or even a day, trip and just have time for myself, not have it be a "date" or have anyone keeping tabs on me.

I'm choosing me because I want to gain back control over my life. I do not need a man in my life for me to be happy. I do not need a significant other to make me complete. I need to start thinking for myself and doing things because I want to do them, not because I feel as if I have to.

I'm choosing me for more reasons that I have yet to figure out, but I know that as time goes on I will start to get a better idea of it all. I'm choosing me to give myself a fresh look on my life. I'm choosing me so that I can be the best version of myself, for myself, by myself. If I had to pick, I'd choose me every time.