So often “millennials” are told to grow up, but then the statement is retracted and we’re told we’re too young. This applies in so many situations but the most frustrating, by far, is relationships. There is this stigma around being in a serious relationship in your early 20s that needs to be killed off more than all of the Orcs in "The Lord of the Rings." Everyone thinks that you waste your youth by being in a monogamous relationship throughout the duration of your collegiate endeavors or that you should enjoy being single to get it all “out of your system.” Well, I’m here to say that some people don’t need to get anything “out of their systems.” First of all, nobody gets to choose when they find their person. However, whether you’re 14 or 40, finding your person has to be the most beautiful thing that can ever happen.
The day I moved into college was the first day of the rest of my life. I was not even on campus for an hour before I found the man I would marry. I was not seeking a relationship, and for the first couple weeks, I didn’t have one. I “lived my life” and went out with my friends and did all of the stereotypical college things you can imagine, but there was someone missing. My roommate hung out with my future husband and came home every night telling me that he had asked about me, which made me ask about him. I finally got up the courage to make the first move and ask for his phone number and he asked me to hang out. As cliché as it is, the rest was history. We fell fast and hard and never left our honeymoon phase. What was different with him was that we skipped the new relationship shyness and put everything out on the table; all of our baggage, and I mean everything. You know how when you’re in a relationship and you have to shave your legs for the entire first year so they don’t think you’re gross? Yeah...not me. We were both so exhausted with the idea of being perfect for someone else that we just wanted to be ourselves, and to each other, we are perfect.
When we started dating, some people said I was making a mistake and asked why I wouldn’t want to enjoy college? I was enjoying college. Why would anybody in their right mind think that experiencing the world with your favorite person wouldn’t be enjoyable? I did more in college than I ever thought imaginable, and if it weren’t for him, I would have transferred and those opportunities may not have presented themselves. I co-founded and was president of an ever-growing sorority, was a Resident Assistant, Chief Justice on a college Judicial Board, was a Student Ambassador and recognized leader of my college. I worked two outside jobs on top of it all and 100 percent of my motivation stemmed from the support of my person.
Almost five years later, and we are getting married this summer and the same question has come about; why don’t you want to enjoy your life before you get married? Once you get married, everything will change, you’re too young. Here’s where I will tell you, I will never be too young. Some people meet their person, but don’t want to pursue the relationship in fear of being tied down. I caution you to rethink your decision, because you may never get that opportunity again. Now I ask you, why does my life have to end when I get married? I can still experience whatever I want to experience, except I will have a partner in crime to do it all with. If you think that life ends with marriage, that is because of you, not the relationship; if it is the relationship, maybe that’s not your person.
Again, at the risk of sounding cliché, love should be liberating, motivating and satisfying. There is no feeling that I can give you to describe it, because it is different for everyone. Just please, for the sake of everyone, stop telling me I’m too young.
