After four fully-fledged months of schoolwork, projects, and oral presentations, I can finally see the ending: in other words, the end of my freshman year. In two more weeks, all of my crushed Oreo milkshakes, weight gain, attempts at getting in shape, cricket game watches, Thursday nights of poetry and work rushing, weekends at Tritton Hall, Mountain Dew energy drink binges, and article writing will only comprise about a quarter of my overall college experience. Not even a full year of living, and college already felt more than it was.
Throughout the year, I've been immersed in different things, both voluntarily and by some strange string of fate. Some experiences worked out very well for me, while others turned out to be a bit less than favorable. Some opportunities are lined up for next year, while others are hanging by a thread, with me as the one to either cut it off or thread it into the developing patchwork of myself.
This same time about a year ago, I would have considered college to be a time to change myself from the ground up, to use my failures from high school as motivation to excel in whatever I saw fit. I was pushing my own limits on a weekly basis, and sometimes, it was too much for me. I had a class in a subject that my mind actively fought against, some demanding activities that I had to push through regardless of my emotions, and random, bleak days in Magill Library where I lost all mental control of myself. Never in my last 19 years had I really gone through so much change since freshman year. In addition to having a new title, there was also a series of new, personal changes that alter how I see the world. The amount is so great that it's a bit difficult to explain through an article. The best way I can put it would be similar to describing a roller coaster ride; you have some choice in what you want to ride and how you ride it, but much of the path is formed for you, and you can ride it out until the end (or, until some emergency happens).
From what I've learned over the year, being a "freshman" isn't necessarily delegated only to a certain status, but it refers a state of mind, the state of always learning and improving, and realizing that you probably won't learn everything but can at least learn as much as you can. Now, I can start the planning for next semester and learn once again how to start over, with new classes, new friends, new professors, new experiences, and new capabilities, but instead, with a new pair of eyes and a new feeling of accomplishment.
Here's to a good summer.