I think that every Greek rethinks their adornment of lifelong letters at least once. It's honestly kinda like marriage. You make a vow to adhere to a certain moral code, while entering into an institution that's so old and honorable that it's held on a pedestal of respect. Like I said - it's a marriage of sorts.

A short time ago I was a freshman who was initiated into Gamma Phi Beta. It was unlike anything I'd ever done, and it felt very surreal. I had just joined an age-old institution with over a hundred women who would come to call me sister. It's really bizarre, if you actually think about it.

Since then, I've learned a lot. I've felt left out when I couldn't find a solid group to go out with, I doubted my legitimacy as a member when we went through struggles as a chapter, and I felt out of place and really lonely at times. It happens to the best of us.

In all honesty, I almost dropped. I even went as far as talking to a member of the Executive Board about it. I didn't think I wanted it anymore. It seemed like a lot of commitment for something that was really hard, and made me feel left out. My Big dropped, I didn't get to see my Twin a lot, and I was feeling very upset and isolated. If my Big - the girl who was supposed to be my role model - dropped out of the sorority, then what was the point in me staying?

I really didn't want to be a sorority woman anymore. I had gotten several internships and job offers around campus, and I thought those would be a better fit. However, out of respect for my mother's monthly chapter dues payments, I decided to give it a real shot. I wanted to really try it before I dropped. I then decided to get two Littles. This, I think, was the turning point in my Greek experience.

These two girls have changed my life. They're like the little sisters I've always dreamt of. Because I wanted them to have a legitimate Greek experience, I started to really branch out. I started reaching out to my sisters, being more social, going out, and meeting people all around Greek Row. I started to feel like a legitimate sorority woman, and it felt good. Then we started initiation.

Initiation made me remember why I joined this crazy international family in the first place: to be a part of something bigger than myself. I sang the songs, remembered the secrets, and did my duty as a member. It reminded me that I'm bonded to women all around the world who know the exact same secrets, mottos, and songs. Who did the same rituals and held the same chapter meetings as us. I welcomed my Littles into this tireless rite, and I felt amazing. Watching them become sorority women was an experience that I'll never forget, nor regret.

Being Greek, and staying Greek, isn't for everyone. It's hard, time consuming, and demanding. It's a lot of money, time, involvement, and commitment. It can make you really aggravated and annoyed. Exhausted and insane. It'll make you question your entire social and emotional stability.

However, it's also amazing. It always gives you something to do. You learn time management, social navigation and chivalry. You have the knowledge of an ancient institution that only a select few people around the world also know. You were chosen to be here, with these girls, wearing these letters. They wanted you. For the rest of your life you will have an international boundary-crossing connection to thousands of women, who unconditionally care about you and know you as "sister."

I used to wear my letters and be self-conscious because I felt like I didn't belong. Now I walk around with the famous sorority woman hair-flip and a constant smile when I adorn my letters, because I know that I have an army of women who would do anything for me, and I for them.

I will never give up my letters because they taught me who I was, and they continue to show me who I want to be. I love you, G Phi B.