I think we all know what I mean when I say “heartbreak.” That sappy yet extremely catchy phenomena that Taylor Swift sells millions of albums with, and the dramatic climax of every love story that leaves you crying over fictional characters and relationships that never even existed.
Heartbreak is abused and exploited by media, it is plastered in tabloid headlines whenever one of America’s favorite celebrity couples gets a divorce, and ridiculed on broadcasts for being part of the reason millennials are a depressed generation. But in reality, it is more universal than that. A broken heart can be because of an unquenchable longing for something you can never have, the loss of a loved one, or yes, a boy named Drew. It is ubiquitous. It doesn’t matter how old you are, or what language you speak; every human experiences this pain.
There are thousands of remedies and self-help books that instruct you on how to fix this “problem," because it is not acceptable to admit that you’re not okay. Heaven forbid that you're struggling, because obviously no one else is. But, contrary to popular belief and Taylor Swift songs that make you question the bane of your existence, here are why these moments of heartbreak are some of the best things to happen to you.
Feeling pain does not mean you are weak, and getting your heart broken does not mean that it is the end of the world. So get up off the floor, and turn off that depressing indie record. Look in the mirror, and see that you are a survivor. Scream, cry, yell, sob; that is your humanity, and pain is natural. But, do you notice something? You are stronger and wiser than before. You are different. You have changed. You aren’t the same, but you are more yourself now than you ever were.
Yes — the moments of anguish haven’t subsided, and maybe they never will, but you are alive. There will be an emptiness at first, a dark pit left wide open that once was occupied. You will feel broken, shattered into tiny, fragmented pieces. But your heart, which you thought had been ripped out of your chest, is still beating. There is blood rushing through your veins, and air circulating in and out of your lungs.
Congratulations, you are a living, breathing human being, and you are better because of it.
You are not alone in this. We all have stories, pasts, and a record of heartbreaks. So instead of listening to what society deems important, hiding your feelings behind a fake smile and using that awful tagline of “I’m fine”, see that darkness, too, is a gift. See that the moments of death, destruction, and despair, are not an end, but a beginning. For without destruction, we would not have rebirth. And without death, we could not have new life.
I know rejoicing in the pain seems impossible; instead, it feels easier to wallow in the sadness and depression a broken heart entails, but don’t lose hope. So listen to that early 2000s Taylor Swift record, sit on your bedroom floor with your pals Ben & Jerry, and embrace the fact that you are broken. See the beauty in fragility, and take the pain in with open arms. But, don’t forget to get up. I promise it will be worth it.
