I don't get it. I don't know what I did or why it turned out the way it did. I tried my best and dished out all the love I could. I had those long talks, laughs, inside jokes. Good memories and great conversations I'll always hold on to. I've had people who told me we were great, but what they didn't know was for some reason he just didn't love me. One day things were just different, I was more upset than happy, the conversations didn't end in silly grins and butterflies, I didn't feel important, I didn't feel worthy; I didn't feel loved.
There are so many girls who feel like that and so many girls questioning their worth because of a boy. I've learned that the biggest thing is: actions speak louder than words. Someone can say they love you so much yet they never act upon it; stop holding onto that. If they don't actually act like they love you and show you they love you then the words end up being false hope. I know that all too well.
On the nights when you find yourself sad, missing the way things used to be. That's okay. It's going to happen so let it happen. Have a night to be sad. To listen to sad music, look at saved screenshots, and just miss it. Don't be ashamed to have a broken heart.
Sometimes it'll feel like your heart is breaking all over again. Sometimes you give yourself false hope by looking at the good things and the good times. You may even try to talk to them and think things will be good again, but please don't get your hopes up, if things haven't change don't hold on for too long. There will even be nights when you're so upset and hurt and angry that you just want to tell them. You just wish you could let them know all the things they've done and all the ways they've hurt you. Trust me, you are definitely not alone on that one. Sometimes you end up breaking your own heart because you just aren't ready to give up and let go, that's okay too. You're allowed to feel and you're allowed to do whatever you need to do. It's not as easy as everyone tries to make it. You can't just "suck it up, face what happened, and move on." Give yourself time to heal, time to come to peace with your feelings, and time to love yourself. Don't hide your feelings, it never ends well, trust me.
If you read this and you happen to relate to anything I've written or you have ever felt that way in the past I just want you to know you are loved and you are worth it. A boy or significant other doesn't determine your worth. You are loved and you were made perfectly. You're exactly who you are because God made you this way and He knew what He was doing with you. You're strong enough to get through it. You're beautiful, and loved, and worthy, I promise. Don't feel silly for your emotions. Let yourself heal because you will, heartbreak sucks, but just know you are SO loved by the creator of this world and you’re strong enough to handle anything that's thrown at you. Most importantly, you are never alone. Smile every day, love everyone, and show the world what you're capable of. Stay fierce, stay strong, stay beautiful.
For some this may seem dramatic because it's talking about heartbreak in such a serious way, but I know there was a time when I wish someone would have written this for me.
Just remember, you ARE loved.
