A few days ago, I was scrolling through social media, and I stopped on a post that quite literally stopped my heart for a moment. The post was a meme, with the sentence "My girlfriend isn't allowed to snapchat anyone unless I am in the photo." The meme had thousands of laugh reaction. Now of course, I understand that for many people, it can be a harmless joke, no worries there.

But for many others, it really isn't.

It's what they deal with in day to day life with their significant other. And I don't know about anyone else, but being someone who has been in an overbearingly controlling relationship before, I am really not okay with it.

Here's what gets to me the most; in this day and age, emotional dating abuse can pass as innocent joking, harmless jealousy and normal "couplish" bickering.

Unreasonable jealousy has become a normal trait in a partner. Cutting a person off from friends and family has become a common practice in relationships. Being denied access to a life outside of your partner isn't something that some people live without.

Signs of emotional relationship abuse is so alive in pop culture, but sadly, it goes unrecognized by 90 percent of the people who are around it.

Think about it, how often do you hear about a guy getting upset because his girlfriend got dressed up all nice and is going out with her friends? What about whenever you hear someone tell their significant other to stop texting one of their friends, simply because they can't control their own jealousy? And of course, we all have that friend who we know always gets a message from their significant other asking "Who's ___?" because they tagged them in something on facebook. Every time I see a meme on social media that has any of these themes in it, my heart drops to my feet. And somehow, it drops even lower when I see the amount of people tagging their significant other in it with the comment "babe, this is seriously you." And what is their partner's reply? "Yeah, it's because I love you."

Love? Really?

Here's the sad truth; these things may seem like harmless teasing, but underneath the surface, they can be so much more. Controlling someone is not a sign of love, and it is usually not a sign of anything healthy. While social media has become a means of having easier and more instant connections with people in your life, it has also become an easier way for abusers to control their partners, and have more ways to access every single detail of their life, and therefore finding more ways and reasons to be even more abusive. I've seen the trend of people making so many excuses for their behavior, and blaming it all on the fact that they are insecure, that they are just making sure that their partner is committed to them, and that they just love them...so much.
Here's the real truth:

That's not love.

Abusers now have easier access to controlling their partner's lives than ever. All they have to do is check their partner's phone without permission, block certain numbers on their phone without telling them, making derogatory comments about their partner and them deleting them, some even go as far as tracking their partner's internet usage.

While these behaviors may seem unimportant to some, here are the hard numbers:

One in three adolescents have experienced some form of abuse from a romantic partner.

More than 50 percent of college students report that even though they may have recognized early signs of relationship abuse from a friend in an abusive relationship, they were too afraid to overstep their boundaries to help them.

One in three college students report that their partner has demanded access to the passwords of their social media accounts, and have later used that access to manipulate them in some way.

Bottom line, emotional abuse isn't something that should be so heavily ignored, and it shouldn't be something that is so heavily promoted in social media. While most people report that they would step in and do something if they ever saw someone being emotionally manipulated or abused by their partner, more than half of them also report that they do not know how to recognize it. To help those who would like to be more aware of some common signs of emotional relationship abuse, here are a few examples.

1. They regularly use jokes, sarcasm, or insults to purposely make their partner feel bad.

2. They accuse their partner of being overly sensitive in order to continue making abuse remarks.

3. Whenever someone regularly needs to ask their partner for permission to hang out with someone, go to a group event, or even talk to somebody.

4. They lack the ability to recognize when they are wrong, and cannot laugh at themselves even though they may laugh at their partner.

5. Any frequent levels of disrespect for their partner, their partner's friends, and their partner's family.

6. They see their partner as an extension of themselves, and fail to recognize that their partner is an individual with a life outside of them.

7. They control and manipulate their partner's finances without prior permission and frequently tell their partner when they can an can't spend money.

8. They continuously point out their partner's flaws and failures.

9. They constantly make excuses for their abusive behavior, and try to blame other sources for their mistreatment of their partner.

10. If someone ever has a sudden change in behavior when it comes to socializing with friends, attending group events, or being themselves.

Abuse is abuse. One form of abuse is an easy pathway to other forms of it, and putting a hold on recognizing an abusive relationship can often have very unfortunate results; substance abuse, eating disorders, suicide attempts, and so much more. It's time that we stop normalizing and romanticizing dating abuse.

Controlling the person you are dating is not cute. Putting any restrictions on your significant other that limit them to a life that only revolves you is wrong. Most importantly, passing these things off as love and care is not true.

If you or someone you know has fallen victim to dating abuse, loveisrespect.org is a fantastic website that is full of support and resources to get out and get help. The youth dating abuse hotline is 1-866-331-9474.

Do not wait. Abuse is not a joke. It is not meme content. It is not okay and it is imperative to end it.