To The Man Who Put Tabasco Sauce In A Condom, You Deserve Better

To The Man Who Put Tabasco Sauce In A Condom, You Deserve Better

Why one man shouldn't be at fault for protecting himself.
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Recently I was listening to Heather McDonald's "Juicy Scoop" podcast and she brought up "sperm stealing."

When those words came out of my speaker I laughed; of course, I've heard of people stealing sperm... who hasn't seen Gone Girl, You're the Worst or Jane the Virgin? Seriously. Now I am very behind in the podcast but I jump around to hear who I want because she has such a wide variety of guests. So this topic may be old to you, but new to me.

But in real life, it's something you never want to hear about. But what did one guy do to stop this piracy of seamen? Put Tabasco sauce in the condom before he threw it away. In this case, it was a random hookup, this was not a woman he was going to marry OR bare any children with. He had heard from a friend of these women who would do the deed, run to the bathroom and then get the used condom to try and get pregnant. The past victims to these women were wealthy men who were just in the city for the night, never expecting to leave with a baby on the way.

So, back to the story.

One night he meets a woman and they hit it off, they get intimate throughout the night, which eventually leads to them going "home" with each other (a close by hotel), and have consensual sex; after he goes to the bathroom to freshen up he realizes that he doesn't want to be that person who is trapped in a pregnancy so he does what any man would do. He looks in the bathroom closet, pushes the four pack of toilet paper over and grabs his favorite condiment... Tabasco... He puts a few drops in the condom and then throws it away.

After returning to the bedroom, the girl then gets up to also "freshen up" up in the bathroom.


Now I personally don't know what was going on in this mans head but maybe he was sitting there, with his readers, dim lamp, a nice book and a little grin. Or maybe he was thinking, "This girl wouldn't do that, it was just a precaution."


A few minutes pass and the man hears a loud scream from the bathroom. He runs in there to find her crying, holding her privates and if it were me, in the shower trying like hell to calm the burning. The man took her to the hospital probably hoping to never see her again, but he did... When her lawyers called him to inform him that he is being sued by the woman because her uterus was affected by the tabasco sauce... obviously. They are saying that because the sperm was thrown away, and in the trash that is was no longer his property and she was free to do what she wants with it.

I haven't been able to find out if the woman won the lawsuit or not so I'm going to say what I think should happen. THIS WOMAN SHOULD BE IN JAIL and the man shouldn't even have to worry about it.

Here's the breakdown:

This woman is young, attractive, and probably very smart. She went into with the mindset that she was going to impregnate herself, trap him, and make him pay child support because he had money.

This in itself should be illegal.

The man put tabasco sauce in his used condom and threw it away.

The keyword here being HIS. It came from his body, it, before and after, belongs to him; so why can't he do what he wants with it.

She tried to impregnate herself with the condom.

WELLLLLLLL this goes back to the illegal aspect. How is it legal to do this?! It's not like they were married and it was the only way they could have a baby, this man wore a condom to prevent STDs and pregnancy.

Now she's suing him.

HOW?! He didn't tell you to go in there and get the sperm.


The whole, "Condom doesn't belong to him after he throws it away," is a bunch of crap.

I'm sorry but when in those 10 minutes did the condom magically belong to her? Was there a ritual, a custody battle? Well, I guess not, because she didn't get pregnant. And thank God for that.

But what about the people who were successful and are now forcing these men to raise the kids? Why is it that they are all getting away with that but when a man goes to protect his guys, he ruined this girls chance at being a mother.

Cover Image Credit: Flickr

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The most important thing I have to thank you for is for trusting me with your son. I know how precious and valuable he is and I won't break his heart. I will do everything I can to make him happy. This means more than you could ever imagine and I promise I will never break your trust.

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People Who Invalidate Your Feelings Don't Actually Care About You

People that refuse to acknowledge that they've hurt my feelings and say I have no right to feel how I'm feeling are not people that I want to be my friends.

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I'm an emotional person, to say the least. Whenever I get upset about something, I usually end up crying about it. Crying is one of the main ways I process my emotions and get sh*t out, instead of letting it bottle up. When I was a teenager and younger, I was definitely the person who wanted to bottle up my emotions and just never deal with them. Bottling up my emotions ACTUALLY ended with me blowing up every once in a while or having a huge breakdown.

Processing my feelings as they come is a healthier approach for me in handling my emotions AND it allows me to communicate when I'm upset with my friends shortly after the fact.

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