I am a woman who loves women. I someday hope to fall in love and perhaps marry a woman. I have never loved a man, and don't think I ever will. But I am not a lesbian. "What!?" most people exclaim, and for good reason. I just checked every box that a lesbian would. But, in the world I live in, "lesbian" is not a word I feel comfortable using to describe myself. If asked, I generally identify myself as gay, which can sometimes lead to questions. So, to answer those questions, here are five reasons why the word "lesbian" makes me cringe.

1. It just sounds icky.

Seriously, it sounds like an STD. Who wants to be identified as something that sounds like an incurable illness? Not me.

2. It's overly sexualized.

Potentially the most famous lesbian movie of our time, Blue is the Warmest Color, features a seven (7!) minute long sex scene, with each camera shot carefully orchestrated to please the "male gaze". There is ever the trope of the "predatory lesbian", the older woman that preys on young girls, as shown in the above GIF, taken from the movie Bloomington. Furthermore, "lesbian" was the most frequently searched phrase on PornHub in 2015, and a Google search of "lesbians" will turn up countless black-and-white photos of women in lingerie engaged in a steamy makeout. In this day and age, lesbians are increasingly seen as sex symbols rather than human beings.

3. It carries stereotypes.

As far as mainstream media is concerned, there are two types of lesbians: the butch one who hates men and is obsessed with sex, and the feminine white girl who's only doing it for attention. Of course, there are so many amazing women who identify as lesbians that fall outside these stifling constraints. Every woman has her own personality and brings unique character traits to the table, and those should be celebrated, not ignored.

4. It's constraining.

I've had two serious relationships in my life; one with a bisexual girl, and one with a pansexual girl. People labeled our relationships as "lesbian relationships", yet both girls experienced attraction to genders other than just women. It limits people's identities to call their female/female relationships "lesbian" and male/female relationships "straight". There's so much more out there than this binary.

5. It's a noun.

Sorry to get technical, but I'm an English major. It had to happen. The word "lesbian" is a noun - e.g. "she's a lesbian", whereas the word "gay" is an adjective - e.g. "she's gay". Using "lesbian" as a noun to describe someone denotes that she is a lesbian, full stop. Nothing else. I prefer to use the word "gay" because it leaves the door open for so many more describers. I refuse to be a lesbian first, and myself second.

Of course, the way people identify is entirely a matter of their own preference, and I am by no means implying that the word "lesbian" is off-limits. It's just not for me. I am gay, yes, but I am so much more.