As a 7th grader, I was what one might call "desperate for acceptance." I wore anything on sale at Hot Topic, cut and dyed my hair pink for reasons I still don't fully know (but probably because everyone else was doing it), and mouthed along to the latest bubblegum pop boy band's tiny hits at school dances. However, despite my refined over-the-top efforts to fit in, I did everything I could to avoid traditional middle school catty backtalk. If someone else tried to slam another girl in front of me, I defended them. I hoped that this would reflect well on my character, and subsequently shield me from the same cutting statements that my peers felt the need to make about each other. However, there were always a couple seemingly perfect (you know the type) girls who gave me the stink eye whenever I walked by in my Sharpie-laden Converse sneakers, flipped their hair when I sat anywhere near them at the lunch table, and moved across the room when I entered class. It bewildered and hurt me. I hadn't ever had a negative confrontation with either of them, and I didn't see what could have triggered their icy shoulders. Finally, one day I confronted one of the girls' friends. I asked if I'd offended one of them, accidentally stepped on their shoe, or done anything to deserve this.

"Oh," the girl replied. "Her? She thinks you're annoying."

And thus my frustration with the word began.

If you head over to Dictionary.com right now and type in the word "annoying," this is what comes up:

Great, right? Sure, plenty of things are annoying. Water dripping in a faucet is annoying. Traffic is annoying. Waiting in a doctor's office is annoying. The yippy dog outside that won't shut up, no matter how many times you call its owner, is annoying. But a human being? Personally, I don't think this word applies. People tend to use the word "annoying" to describe someone that they don't like for a reason they can't exactly put their finger on or don't want to say. That unattractive guy who tells dumb jokes in class? He's "annoying," but if he happened to be handsome, he'd be quirky. That girl who always hangs around your clique but you "forget" to include in the group text? She's "annoying" because you won't give her the chance to be herself and show you what a great person she is. So many times we call others annoying simply because we put up an unfriendly air when they're around. As ANYONE would do, they get nervous, say something off-beat, and are met with unfamiliar stares, further reinforcing our incorrect perception of them. Do they really meet the definition of "irritatingly bothersome," as dictionary.com suggests? I doubt it. Most of the time, we use the word "annoying" because the person in question isn't cruel, manipulative, backstabbing, or crude. Their faults are inherent to their personalities, and rather than look past minute issues into the multifaceted person they are, it's easier to just label them as "annoying."

Take a look at yourself. Chances are you've both used the word to degrade another human being and have heard it used to describe you. Would you call yourself irritatingly bothersome? Even as someone very aware of their own faults and shortcomings, I don't see myself that way. I'd say I'm a work in progress, just like everyone else. Sure, at times I'm "annoying." I'm overenthusiastic about strange things (dogs, office supplies...you get the picture). I'm loud. I'm a perfectionist. But most importantly, I'm human. And you are too. So next time you hear a friend label another human being as "annoying," think about the following: Has the person in question ever hurt another willingly? If so, a better word for their actions would be "hurtful." Do they actively try to cut others down, or act in a manner that they can control? If so, they're probably "insensitive." Are they irritatingly bothersome?! No, they're a flawed human, just like any of us.

I challenge you to eliminate the word "annoying" from your vocabulary as it pertains to your fellow humans. We're all "irritatingly bothersome" at times, and at others, we're great. Humans, particularly young adults, have a tendency to categorize people whom we do not know, and though this can *sometimes* be in a positive light, it is usually negative. So, stop for a minute. Invite that girl into your group chat. Laugh at that guy's joke regardless of his appearance. Give that insecure middle schooler the benefit of the doubt. After all, each person brings a unique and refreshing perspective into your life, and it's difficult to label someone as "irritatingly bothersome" once you find out how wonderful they are.