We hear people say all the time that guys and girls can’t be friends. There are a ton of examples of this in movies and television. You may find that one person that you have the perfect friendship with. You watch trash TV, eat junk food together, and talk about the annoying people in your lives. You have the same favorite TV shows, same taste in music and love the same foods. They are your go to person after a breakup or maybe just an awful day. But eventually that dynamic changes and you both realize it doesn't work the way you want it to. Here are just a few of the reasons these friendships don’t work out:
People will ask questions.
Whether it be other friends or people who are potential suitors, there are always rumors flowing. When you spend tons of time alone with each other, go to events and parties together, or even concerts for your favorite band, people start asking you to explain the relationship. You can say you're just friends and nothing is going on till you're blue in the face but no one will understand that. They constantly tell you you’re perfect for each other and give you couple names but they don’t get that you just enjoy the same things and tolerate each other’s annoying habits.
Significant others feel threatened.
If one of you are dating or seeing someone it’s bound to get tense. Unless they have a friendship of the same type, they will not understand the dynamic. They know this person is protective over you and usually feel as though they don’t have your best friend’s seal of approval. Usually they never get the seal of approval because no one is good enough for you in their eyes. They know how important your best friend is to you and often feel like they don’t mean the same. It’s a hard balance to maintain that typically ends in the loss of one or the other.
Feelings get involved.
In almost every relationship like this feelings surface at one time or another. Most of the time it happens out of jealousy that someone else is stealing their attention away from you. Sometimes it’s simply that you realize how easy it would be to date your best friend. But typically these feelings never come up for both of you at the same time. You will always be on different pages and nothing will change that. Lines are usually crossed when in these phases and it’s hard to go back to when everything was simple. After all that happens, the explanations of your friendship get messier.
We are all meant to love.
As humans we are all hardwired to love and to desire to be loved back. Being so close to someone leads to loving them. Loving someone as a friend is difficult when adding in all the outside factors such as jealousy, instigating friends and physical attraction. When you’re that invested in someone else’s well being it results in wanting something more.
Bottom line, these friendships are hard to come by. When you find someone you can be that close to you should try to hold on to them. It’s a rollercoaster of emotions but the good times are great. There are many benefits to a friendship like this. Sometimes we need a friend to cuddle with, to tell us everything we want to hear or maybe we just need someone to put us in our place and be honest with us. Either way, struggle through the hard times because typically you both need each other more than you know.
