Why Our Generation Sucks at Relationships (And How We Can Fix It)

Now obviously from the title of this article, you probably think I’m a typical #foreveralone girl ranting about how guys suck and they’re the sole reason why chivalry is dead. Never fear, both for my sake and for yours; that is far from true. 

I don’t think real gentlemen are extinct, and they are absolutely not the only reason for our generation’s lack of commitment to one person. I do think, however, that many young men are hiding underneath a macho man façade so they don’t seem “too emotional” or “whipped” to their friends, the better to fit into the mold our society has created for them. 

Now I am not saying that you have to post pictures of  your significant other for every #MCM or #WCW or that you have to celebrate every month-a-versary - because, ew, tone it down a notch or three. But I will say this much: that it is very important to show the person you care about (if you have that special someone in your life) that they mean something to you.

Since when did openly caring for someone and making yourself vulnerable become bad things? We are so caught up in playing games with each other because the twenty-somethings of today never want to be the one to ask the sometimes awkward questions. I can’t tell you the number of times my friends and  I have sat around telling stories about guys we are clearly interested in and the story ends with someone asking, “So what are you guys? Just friends or more than that?” More times than not, the answer is “I’m not sure.” 

Why do we allow  ourselves to get caught up in these games? Why are we so afraid to put ourselves out there and tell someone how we really feel? And what the hell is a "thing"? (Seriously if someone has the answer please share your knowledge with me.) 

Not only is this yo-yo of emotions exhausting, it’s also pointless. Are you together or not? The answer is a simple "yes" or "no." It's a question we need to start asking more frequently and, subsequently, not be afraid to answer in a direct, clear-cut manner. Acting like you are exclusive under certain circumstances and like you aren’t in others can lead to a lot of confusion for  both parties. 

Maybe you want to just keep things casual and see other people; that’s completely fine  and no one is stopping you! But make that clear from the beginning so you aren’t stringing someone  along. I know from personal experiences that putting off the DTR (define the relationship) conversation for too long can lead to miscommunication and, eventually, heartbreak - the type of heartbreak that, at the time, can make you seriously consider permanent #foreveralone girl status and believe that chivalry is, in fact, dead.

So as a generation, let’s stop these silly games and lack of communication and start being real with each other. Let’s stop “being together” or “having a thing” and bring back the seemingly abandoned concepts of courtship and dating. Let’s not be afraid to be open and honest about what we want. And let’s start having higher expectations for ourselves and each other, and set an example for the next generation.