1) Winning is boring!

Everyone says winning is great, but is it really great? I mean, think about it. Winning means you won. What does that even mean? You did whatever you did better than whoever was trying to do it better than you that one time you tried to do it. So? Who cares about that one time? Let's say someone does care. Cool, you impressed that person. Now what? You've already won, so you can't impress them further. You're already declared "the best" so now where do you go? You gain the title of Grand Winner Supreme, but what does that give you? A meaningless title that will fade along with your pride and other's opinion of you. Too bad you couldn't exchange that win for a loss and reap the benefits associated with losing.

2) Failing is productive!

Unlike the unlucky winner, the loser gains much more than the hilarious title of loser. By failing, you've opened the door for improvement! Now that you know you're absolute trash at the thing you tried to do, you get better at doing it and not be trash anymore! That overwhelming sense of defeat and self doubt you experienced during the part where you totally blew it will motivate you to never feel that crappy again! Now you can take all that negative energy and push it into a ball of productive self-help actions where you come out a brand new shiny better version of yourself! Congratulations you loser!

3) When you lose everyone else wins!

Losing is hilarious and laughter is the best medicine! Just remember every time you wipe out on a perfectly flat walkway for no particular reason everyone laughing at you is instantly having a better day! So, you being a good Samaritan and a great sport laugh with them! Now your day is better, their day is better, and we all live together in perfect world peace all because of your one mistake.