Why I Don't Want To Settle Down

Why I Don't Want To Settle Down

Not everyone has to have the same life
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I remember as a little kid, my friends and I would play house. If you have never played house before, you know that naïve kids partner up with their best friend or secret love and became adults: the boys proposed with an enchanting bread bag twisty tie and a large bottle cap entwined at the top, like a sparkling gem. The newlyweds would walk, arm and arm, into the side of the playground that would become their home. Here, children were brought into the world as if by magic, allowing you to have the dream career and the perfect imaginary family. But life isn’t like House.

I first realized I didn’t want kids or marriage when I was in middle school. Even as a child, my career was my passion, real or imaginary, and I wanted to strive for perfection. As I got older, I feel into societal norms, believing in order to be accepted, you needed to conform to what was expected of you. It wasn’t until I was diagnosed with cancer that I realized that everything I ever wanted before was a façade, an illusion created in my mind to prevent from being ostracized. I woke up from my 17-year coma and began to realize that the things I thought I wanted were not at all how I imagined my life to be. It scared me, the thought of waking up one morning and realizing that I never became the person I wanted to be, but the person that someone expected of me.

I feel like my list could be extensive as to why I want to forgo marriage and children, from money savings, to independence, to freedom, and not to mention options. On the other hand, I want to be married to my career. I want to nurse my passion and watch it flourish in front of my eyes, feeling that proud warmth that parents get when they see the thing they created prosper. The thought of sacrificing the one thing I worked the hardest for in life is daunting, it leaves me feeling empty and unfulfilled thinking about it, and I can’t imagine life without it. Not only that, but I like to think of myself as a free bird; at any given moment, I want to be able to pack all my things in a carry on suitcase and leave, not entirely sure if I would return, anticipating the spontaneous adventure. I want, I crave, I lust, for the freedom to choose, to loose, and to risk everything for a choice. Everyone has choices in life, but I want my to be more unencumbered.

Don’t get me wrong, being a parent is the hardest job a person could have. It’s laborious and draining; it leaves you weary and to be honest, a little closer to death than you were before. The stress in insurmountable and the pressure to succeed is worse than any career. All the sacrifices made, all the dreams and past fantasies are put on hold or cast away, in order to devote your attention to another human being. Shit, it’s more stressful than being married, but still the same demon. I will always have the utmost respect for those who chose to settle down, have families, and live the lives that they see themselves having. But that isn’t for me. I will never say never, because life in unpredictable, but it is not in my life plan and that’s okay!

Not everyone has to have the same life, the same plan, the same dreams and wants and choices and regrets and that’s what makes everyone so unique. Whatever you chose to do, make sure it’s for you, so you don’t wake up one day and think about where your life went, where your friends went, where your choices went, unlike when we were kids, playing house, where all our choices were abundant and life seemed so black and white…

Cover Image Credit: Frestocks.org

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I'm A Woman And You Can't Convince Me Breastfeeding In Public Is OK In 2019

Sorry, not sorry.

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Lately, I have seen so many people going off on social media about how people shouldn't be upset with mothers breastfeeding in public. You know what? I disagree.

There's a huge difference between being modest while breastfeeding and just being straight up careless, trashy and disrespectful to those around you. Why don't you try popping out a boob without a baby attached to it and see how long it takes for you to get arrested for public indecency? Strange how that works, right?

So many people talking about it bring up the point of how we shouldn't "sexualize" breastfeeding and seeing a woman's breasts while doing so. Actually, all of these people are missing the point. It's not sexual, it's just purely immodest and disrespectful.

If you see a girl in a shirt cut too low, you call her a slut. If you see a celebrity post a nude photo, you call them immodest and a terrible role model. What makes you think that pulling out a breast in the middle of public is different, regardless of what you're doing with it?

If I'm eating in a restaurant, I would be disgusted if the person at the table next to me had their bare feet out while they were eating. It's just not appropriate. Neither is pulling out your breast for the entire general public to see.

Nobody asked you to put a blanket over your kid's head to feed them. Nobody asked you to go feed them in a dirty bathroom. But you don't need to basically be topless to feed your kid. Growing up, I watched my mom feed my younger siblings in public. She never shied away from it, but the way she did it was always tasteful and never drew attention. She would cover herself up while doing it. She would make sure that nothing inappropriate could be seen. She was lowkey about it.

Mindblowing, right? Wait, you can actually breastfeed in public and not have to show everyone what you're doing? What a revolutionary idea!

There is nothing wrong with feeding your baby. It's something you need to do, it's a part of life. But there is definitely something wrong with thinking it's fine to expose yourself to the entire world while doing it. Nobody wants to see it. Nobody cares if you're feeding your kid. Nobody cares if you're trying to make some sort of weird "feminist" statement by showing them your boobs.

Cover up. Be modest. Be mindful. Be respectful. Don't want to see my boobs? Good, I don't want to see yours either. Hard to believe, I know.

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What It Is Really Like Having Sisters Close To Your Age

While having siblings close to your age is pretty amazing, there can be a lot of issues that can come with it.

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I come from a family of 5 people and 1 dog. I have 2 sisters, Grace and Caroline. We are all pretty close in age, Caroline being the youngest and 3 years younger than me.

My sisters and I share a bond like no one else, no one can replicate it. When you have siblings close to your age you have built-in best friends, and since they are around your age you have the same interest, or at least, enough so that you can do things that other siblings cannot. Examples of this would be seeing R-Rated movies and going to the mall without too much complaining, along with being able to shop in the same stores or even share clothes. Grace and I sometimes even split the cost of a shirt we both like.

We even overlap friend groups! Which is not much of a problem for us, Grace and I are both in music programs which overlap enough for us to have the same friends, which is great for when one of us has a sleepover, the other can join in on the fun. Caroline, however, even though she is seen as the sporty one of the 3 of us, she still has a lot of friends who have similar interests as Grace or I, giving us a lot of the same friends. It's nice not to be considered the "cool older sister", I am just like the rest of them.

While we do fight a lot, we make up really quickly, because most issues we have are stupid sibling fights: who gets the T.V., what to have for dinner, what movie to see. But it is always fun because there are 3 of us, which means majority rules, something we tend to go by most of the time depending on the situation.

Having 3 teenagers in the house can be a handful for our parents though, when you have three teenage girls going through puberty at relatively the same time, it can be grueling, especially when you are all on your period at the same time.. (yes, that has happened before) (and yes, it sucks). While I am on the topic, let's say a prayer and a thank you to my dad for dealing with 5 girls (including the dog, obviously) because he does a pretty damn good job at dealing with all of us.

When we were younger, we always had a play date even when one was canceled. We all made up songs and dances and would perform them for our parents. We even had a band called The Halsey Sisters (AKA the female version of The Jonas Brothers) where we had a hit song called "We Got The Heart and Soul". It was a hell of a time. Let's just say the music video for that song is, interesting to say the least.

At the end of the day, I wouldn't switch my sisters for anything in the world, they are my rocks, and I wouldn't want it any other way, Grace, Caroline, keep doing what you're doing, because you're pretty damn awesome.

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