Why I Don't Want To Settle Down
Relationships

Why I Don't Want To Settle Down

Not everyone has to have the same life

943
Frestocks.org

I remember as a little kid, my friends and I would play house. If you have never played house before, you know that naïve kids partner up with their best friend or secret love and became adults: the boys proposed with an enchanting bread bag twisty tie and a large bottle cap entwined at the top, like a sparkling gem. The newlyweds would walk, arm and arm, into the side of the playground that would become their home. Here, children were brought into the world as if by magic, allowing you to have the dream career and the perfect imaginary family. But life isn’t like House.

I first realized I didn’t want kids or marriage when I was in middle school. Even as a child, my career was my passion, real or imaginary, and I wanted to strive for perfection. As I got older, I feel into societal norms, believing in order to be accepted, you needed to conform to what was expected of you. It wasn’t until I was diagnosed with cancer that I realized that everything I ever wanted before was a façade, an illusion created in my mind to prevent from being ostracized. I woke up from my 17-year coma and began to realize that the things I thought I wanted were not at all how I imagined my life to be. It scared me, the thought of waking up one morning and realizing that I never became the person I wanted to be, but the person that someone expected of me.

I feel like my list could be extensive as to why I want to forgo marriage and children, from money savings, to independence, to freedom, and not to mention options. On the other hand, I want to be married to my career. I want to nurse my passion and watch it flourish in front of my eyes, feeling that proud warmth that parents get when they see the thing they created prosper. The thought of sacrificing the one thing I worked the hardest for in life is daunting, it leaves me feeling empty and unfulfilled thinking about it, and I can’t imagine life without it. Not only that, but I like to think of myself as a free bird; at any given moment, I want to be able to pack all my things in a carry on suitcase and leave, not entirely sure if I would return, anticipating the spontaneous adventure. I want, I crave, I lust, for the freedom to choose, to loose, and to risk everything for a choice. Everyone has choices in life, but I want my to be more unencumbered.

Don’t get me wrong, being a parent is the hardest job a person could have. It’s laborious and draining; it leaves you weary and to be honest, a little closer to death than you were before. The stress in insurmountable and the pressure to succeed is worse than any career. All the sacrifices made, all the dreams and past fantasies are put on hold or cast away, in order to devote your attention to another human being. Shit, it’s more stressful than being married, but still the same demon. I will always have the utmost respect for those who chose to settle down, have families, and live the lives that they see themselves having. But that isn’t for me. I will never say never, because life in unpredictable, but it is not in my life plan and that’s okay!

Not everyone has to have the same life, the same plan, the same dreams and wants and choices and regrets and that’s what makes everyone so unique. Whatever you chose to do, make sure it’s for you, so you don’t wake up one day and think about where your life went, where your friends went, where your choices went, unlike when we were kids, playing house, where all our choices were abundant and life seemed so black and white…

Report this Content
This article has not been reviewed by Odyssey HQ and solely reflects the ideas and opinions of the creator.

For a long time, Goya has been a staple in some Latino households. People carry around jars of Adobo when they eat at friend's houses and packets of Sazón Goya can be found in almost everyone's pantry. Many BuzzFeed lists, videos, and memes aimed at Latinos reference Goya somewhere.

But in a year that just keeps hitting us with bad news, Goya Foods CEO Robert Unanue said that Trump was an "incredible builder" and that the US was "blessed" to have him as president at a White House event on Thursday.

Keep Reading... Show less
Lifestyle

Raven Baxter Was Our Favorite Teen Fashion Icon And We're Still Recreating Her Best Looks, Here

We take a look at Disney's most fashion-forward show to recreate some iconic looks.

Disney Plus

I grew up in the early 2000s. And, like any child at the time, I was hooked on Disney Channel shows. My favorite was and is "That's So Raven."

Raven is a teenage psychic navigating life in hopes of not revealing her powers. Only her family and close friends know she has them. Her powers oftentimes get her in trouble, which is where the comedy comes in. But, they also teach her and her friends sentimental life lessons.

Keep Reading... Show less

Sobriety is so underrated, even when it comes to healthcare. The instant gratification of a substance or drink isn't exactly as gratifying as some people may think. For those of you who've never been hungover, consider yourself lucky — a hangover is biologically horrifying. A hangover is not instant gratification, so who are we kidding when people say "it just feels good." Being healthy actually feels good and won't hurt you or your bank account in the morning. The best way to be healthy is to choose sobriety.

Keep Reading... Show less

Ah, yes. The juice cleanse. Yet another popular diet trend that promises to magically solve all of your health, nutrition, and weight issues.

When you take a close look, juice cleanses aren't as magical as they are made out to be, and in fact, they might do more harm than good.

Keep Reading... Show less
Lifestyle

Unauthorized Plastic Surgery Is Totally Unethical, And Happening WAY More Often Than We Know ‬

Plastic surgery for cosmetic enhancements has you looking more botched than beautiful and it’s painful to see.

Coming from someone who could afford numerous cosmetic enhancing procedures I would never in a million years cut up my face or my body. I'm pretty emphatic and when I watch these brainwashed victims with bandages and chronic inflammation (swollen lips) I literally feel their pain.

Keep Reading... Show less

I've never been big on casual wear or athleisure. Most people who know me have never seen me in sweats. But, I do have those two or three pairs of sweats I can't resist climbing into the second I get home, the newest addition of which is the extra cozy Odyssey crewneck sweatshirt I got in an XL size to feel as close to being wrapped in a blanket at all times as possible.

In the past several months, I've started to expand my horizons, considering the ways in which I can bring my small wardrobe of comfortable bedroom clothing into the public. I've experimented with topping leggings and a sports bra with a denim jacket to the park, and an oversized sweatshirt worn as a dress, cinched at the waist with a belt when I'm out wearing leggings.

Keep Reading... Show less
Lifestyle

How To Dress Like Your Favorite 'Insecure' Characters — Without Spending $2,000

We take a look at the fashion of Insecure season 4, and how you can create these looks yourself.

HBO

Insecure is one of my favorite shows ever. It really encapsulates what it's like being a Black 20-something, trying to navigate the many ups and downs of life. Issa, Molly, Kelli, and Tiffany are living their best lives in California while dealing with the twists and turns that come with that.

From life to relationships to careers, this show truly captures everything that runs through my mind on a daily basis. The show has a sense of realness and a strong frankness that makes you gravitate toward the characters and root for their success.

Keep Reading... Show less
Lifestyle

Making A Food Instagram Was The Greatest Silver Lining To Come Out Of My COVID-19 Experience

With the crazy and scary times that 2020 has brought, find comfort in the one thing everyone loves: food.

The waiter briskly moves towards us and stops just a foot away table, balancing the black serving tray stacked high with the ceramic plates that make-up our dinner. From memorization, he beings gently, but purposely, sliding everyone's orders in front of them and within seconds I'm am starring my meal.

Keep Reading... Show less
Facebook Comments