It seems like, recently, every time I procrastinate and scroll through Facebook, I see yet another high school friend is now engaged. I congratulate them because I am genuinely happy for them, and it’s the nice thing to do. It’s what is right for them at this moment in their life...just not mine. But when I head home to relax and unwind, I'm always asked ye ol’ question: “You got a boyfriend yet?” or “When you two getting engaged?” Yeah, I have a boyfriend. Thank you for caring about my education, though. Maybe it’s just me, but I’m not ready to be engaged.
As an adult, there is the expectation that you will know who you are, what you want to do and have the rest of your life planned out. Relationship or not, I’m still growing as an individual and need to have the independence to do what I know is right for myself. At this point in my life I am focusing on my education, finding a job for after graduation, making memories, and working on myself. Being engaged would limit me because I’d be pinning all sorts of wedding ideas, picking out my color scheme, and figuring out the perfect wedding date instead of creating a good existential basis.
If you’re in a relationship you can still have forever together, minus the ring and legal weight bearing down on you. If you’re in a committed relationship that you want to last forever like Edward and Bella, you still can. There’s no need to rush it -- enjoy the memories and youth while you have it; no need to get gray hairs over planning a wedding. I’ve been in a relationship for five years and am still as happy as day one. I don’t have the pressures of planning and major decisions looming over my head, I’m simply enjoying my relationship for what it is. First-hand I’ve seen relationships ruined because of marriage and it is alarming sometimes, but one day it is something I want. Just not now.
There’s the stereotype that I feel I am reminded of way too often that I need a ring on my finger to feel of importance and to be happy. Questions like “When are you getting engaged? What are you going to do without your boyfriend for a whole year?” seem to be more popular than ones relating to my well-being or career. Well, I do have an upcoming internship that I’m ecstatic for, but my acquaintances care more about my relationship status, not that I’m already trying to jump-start my future and make a name for myself. I’m going to start a new chapter in my life, one where I hope will be in a new area with exciting possibilities and adventures. There is this overwhelming convention that I need to be engaged to feel like my life is going according to plan. But I do not have a clear plan, except to be happy and find a job.
Right now, I am not ready to be engaged. Maybe one day but not anytime soon. I have too much to take care of first, like college, paying off my debt, job seeking, and working on myself before I begin to think of planning a wedding. Single or not, I do not need a man on my arm and a sparkly diamond ring on my finger at this point of my life.
