What good could possibly come out of sitting through the first week of classes while teachers robotically recite their course outline that hasn't changed in ten years?

I can't think of any; it's a useless week. Here's why you shouldn't attend classes during syllabus week:

1. The professor will expand on how the class is going to work and the assignments that are contributing to your final grade. You definitely do not need to learn that homework is due every week online or that every midterm consists of twenty extended response questions. Knowing what you have to do is a minor detail in college courses. Maybe.

2. You don't need to meet the other students in the class. They have no idea what they're doing and there's no chance they'll be able to help you on projects or understand the material later on in the course. 

3. Every single college class is structured the same exact way. If you've taken one, you pretty much know what you're doing. Professors all have the same deadlines, tests and assignments. 

4. No one starts actually teaching the first week, right? Who cares if you miss on the first five chapters that are fundamental to the rest of the material? It's a very good idea to just bank on the fact that it will take all of your professors at least ninety minutes to talk about the syllabus.

5. You might miss out on trivial things like extra credit and that the professor will be taking attendance everyday, but, like I said, these are unimportant. I'm sure you'll do fine without knowing that you can use the 10th edition is just as good as the "course recommended" 11th edition that only costs $500 more. Who needs money? College is cheap.

I repeat: You will not reap any benefits by attending syllabus week. Why waste your time hearing the professor explain the course and telling students how to get a good grade?