Love is weird. It makes you do weird things. Cute things too, don't get me wrong. But I found out that the biggest obstacle first is to get into a relationship. That takes some time. But when do find the time to be with someone and start a life? Most people say that it is in college.
When I came into college, I didn’t think I needed love. I already found it in high school. I found one guy who liked some of the things that I liked and that was it. I thought that was it. But then I realized that this isn’t the one for me. It wasn’t my time for love.
All throughout college, my friends around me fell in and out of love. They held hands, shared clothes and took pictures that were unbelievably cute. Some went on dates, while others got engaged. To them, it must have seemed rewarding. But for me, I didn’t really feel much of it. And a lot of you may think that someone like me would be bitter or jealous.
People may think that finding someone in college is the perfect way to start your life. For me, I don’t think so.
I know that I will end up with someone. I can accept that fate. I know that I will be with someone who makes me comfortable and is willing to support me in everything I do. For me, college isn’t about finding the love of your life and starting that journey. College is to love yourself and start YOUR journey.
But also, a part of me kind of thinks that no one here is really interested in me. I can be perfectly honest with myself and know that I am not the prettiest petunia (Is that even a term that people use?) but my looks are what I got. I know that I am beautiful in more ways than one but people just don’t understand it yet.
I am so happy that I did not date in college because for me, I do not think that I would have been so successful. People may think that I am too lonely or that I am probably bitter about everyone being lovey dovey but I am pretty okay.
Being alone has its perks. There is no one in your life who will judge you or complain or get mad at you. You get time to accept your flaws and all. You get to accept yourself? Isn’t that exciting? To love yourself unconditionally and willingly.
I am in a point in my life where my emotions are somewhat everywhere. And I do not want to be that person who pushes all my negativity and crappy days on someone else. I want to be able to push myself every single time I fall. I want to be the one who can wipe away my own tears.
I would love to fall madly in love but not now. But if it happens, it happens. I will accept it.