Romans 12:1-2 (KJV): “I beseech you therefore, brethren, by the mercies of God, that ye present your bodies a living sacrifice, holy, acceptable unto God, which is your reasonable service. And be not conformed to this world: but be ye transformed by the renewing of your mind, that ye may prove what is that good, and acceptable, and perfect, will of God.”

Ever since completely giving my entire body, mind, and soul over to God, there have been many sacrifices, not only spiritually, but physically as well. When dealing with the promise of an eternal life in Heaven with our Lord and Savior, you can never be too careful. Since I grew up as a child in a Holiness, or some would say Pentecostal, environment, I have always been susceptible to the strict teachings of the denomination on lifestyle, especially dress. However, as I grew older and my grandfather, the main advocate on modesty in my life, passed away, I instantly began to question the concept of God and His all-encompassing laws. Eventually, doubt took dominance over faith and my belief in God wildly withered away. As if on cue, the world immediately swooped in and took hold of my life in ways described as nothing more than devilishly grotesque sin.

On March 1, 2015, I attended New Harmony Holiness Church out of mere curiosity. I had been asked on more than one occasion to come, and from two complete strangers. This fact alone fueled my unquenchable thirst for superstition and signs. Upon entering, a sweet spirit enveloped the entirety of the small church’s atmosphere, and I found myself crying with confusion before the service even started. As the choir began to sing I could hear the voice of my deceased grandfather underneath each intricate harmony - I could even hear his sweet guitar. Therefore, when the service progressed and the preacher, Brother Teddy, eventually made his way to the pulpit, every last bit of willpower that I held onto was completely consumed by the power in his voice. As he preached hellfire and brimstone, I was brought face-to-face with the familiarity of my grandfather’s legacy. This time, it was as if my grandfather took the preacher’s place, and instead of being preached at by Brother Teddy, I was being scolded by my Paw-Paw.

As he began to close, music started in the background. The message slowly alternated from the preaching of sinful damnation to the teaching of loving forgiveness. I admit that at this point I was nothing more than a ball of roaring tears. He asked for anyone who did not know Jesus to come forward, and before he even finished his message I found myself running to the alter. The entire time I was inwardly fighting myself, saying “What are you doing? You don’t even believe in God, and even if He was real, He couldn’t forgive you for all the evil that you’ve done. Turn around and go sit down. This is all a trick.” I had always wanted to believe, but I could not force myself to believe in something or someone just because everyone said so. I needed to experience everything for myself. God knew that.

As my feet stopped in front of Brother Teddy and the tears continued to pour from my eyes, he only smiled at me and asked me to repeat after him. I did as he said, and uttered sentences on turning from sin, denying the devil, and accepting Jesus Christ into my heart as my Lord and Savior, the whole while questioning myself. However, as I closed my eyes, Brother Teddy anointed his hands with holy oil and pressed his palm to my forehead. All I felt was the fire from the oil before the world was turned inward and ceased its spin. I opened my eyes to find myself sprawled on the carpeted floor of the church with a satin throw covering my body. That was the moment that I began to realize how real and powerful God truly is.

Weeks passed and I began to hesitantly make myself a new member of New Harmony Holiness Church. I admired how truly on fire they were for God, but I questioned their choices on attire. I was taught not only to wear skirts out of church, but more importantly to wear skirts in God’s house. The entire concept of their claim on existing as a Holiness church therefore confused me. I did not see anything wrong with wearing pants outside of the church doors, but once your feet hit the enclosure of the walls, I believed it was only respectful to dress as the woman that God created you to be. Therefore, I began to pray on my confusion and to study the concept of appropriate dress for women in the bible.

Deuteronomy 22:5 (KJV): “The woman shall not wear that which pertaineth unto a man, neither shall a man put on a woman’s garment: for all that do so are abomination unto the LORD thy God.”

At first when I came across this scripture, I took from it that women should not dress as men, and men as women. However, the next morning as I began to dress for school, I found myself staring only at the pants lining my closet. As I took a pair off the hanger, a sense of dread immediately came over me. I felt as though I were about to dress as a man would. I began to yearn for the skirt at the back of my closet, but suppressed it, believing I was only imagining the emotions that took over my mind. Soon after, as I left for school, the foreign emotions were gone. The rest of the day was spent with no thought over the issue until I began to walk from my last class. My pants began to sag a small inch, as pants commonly do as days progress, and I pulled them up, out of habit, to better accentuate my backside. Immediately, an overwhelming sense of disgust and impurity flooded my senses. I ran to the bathroom, feeling only shame as I looked at myself in the mirror. Tears were already brimming over my eyelids, but I hastily searched for something to hide my body. Finding nothing, I fled to my car and drove home, knowing what I had to do - what God told me to do.

Arriving home, I found the house empty. I quickly made my way to the closet and opened the door, glaring at my cause of anxiety. I hastily ripped the pants off their hangers and threw them out my door, swiftly replacing them with the skirts and dresses buried behind years of sin.

Matthew 16:24-26 (KJV): “Then said Jesus unto his disciples, If any man will come after me, let him deny himself, and take up his cross, and follow me. For whosoever will save his life shall lose it: and whosoever will lose his life for my sake shall find it. For what is a man profited, if he shall gain the whole world, and lose his own soul? or what shall a man give in exchange for his soul?”

It has now been over a year since God convicted me of wearing pants, and, honestly, throwing them out was one of the easiest sacrifices that I have made since getting saved. Compared to the sacrifice that God made for us when He watched the people of this world torture and slay His one and only son Jesus Christ, committing to wearing skirts is nothing. Why gamble with your soul? However great or small the conviction that God gives me, I obey, not only because I want to live with Our Father in Heaven, but also because I want to make Him proud. I want to give back to the one who saved my life, saved my soul. I want to make the one smile who day by day reaches down and takes away my pain and suffering. I want to be obedient to the one who gave meaning to my life, my existence. I want to respect the one who forgives my sins daily through the blood of His only son. I want to show my love to the one who loves me unconditionally, no matter how great the sin. I simply want to deny myself and take up my cross and follow the one who leads, guides, and directs my steps, no matter how great the sacrifice.

1 Timothy 2:9 (KJV): “In like manner also, that women adorn themselves in modest apparel, with shamefacedness and sobriety…”

1 Corinthians 6:19-20 (KJV): “What? know ye not that your body is the temple of the Holy Ghost which is in you, which ye have of God, and ye are not your own? For ye are bought with a price: therefore glorify God in your body, and in your spirit, which are God’s.”

To defend their inappropriate or worldly attire, most women will say that God does not care what is on the outside, but only about what is within. However, after reading these two scriptures we can see that God clearly cares what we wear and how we represent ourselves. God says in 1 Timothy to adorn ourselves in modest apparel. Regardless of how baggy (which would even more so pertain to a man) a woman wears her pants, the outline of her figure will still show through. With a flared skirt, not only does she shield her legs, but she also shields her curves. With pants, there is no shielding the curve of the thigh and backside. How, then, can I claim pants as a form of modesty? God says in 1 Corinthians that my body is a temple for the Holy Ghost that now lives inside me since accepting Jesus Christ as my Savior. He says also that since the Holy Ghost is of Him, that my body is not mine but essentially His. Therefore, how can I force God, that lives inside me, to be clothed in immodest and immoral attire? He says to glorify Him not just through the spirit, but through the body as well. Therefore, I must not only worship and do good works in His name, but I must also represent Him through modest clothing.

2 Corinthians 6:17 (KJV): “Wherefore come out from among them, and be ye separate, saith the Lord, and touch not the unclean thing; and I will receive you.”

Not only do skirts establish my identity as a woman and clothe me in modesty, but they also separate me and cause me to stand out. Many months after I began wearing skirts, I started to question why God had convicted me, yet not the rest of the girls in class who had known Him far longer. Before even finding this scripture, my mother sat me down around that time and asked me what I was already inwardly contemplating: why I believed God wanted me, specifically, to wear skirts. I meditated harder on the answer, when suddenly I found myself speaking without thought. God answered her for me, saying “He wants me to stand out in this school and be separate. He wants people to look at me and immediately see Him, not just by my works, but also by the way I dress for no one but Him. However, He also wants wants me to stand out in the world. He wants, for when people ask me why I wear skirts, for me to minister unto them on Jesus and tell my story.” As we can see in 2 Corinthians, God wants us to be separate from the rest of the world. That does not mean that we avoid socializing with the lost, but that does mean that we stand out, not only in good works, but also in body and spirit too.

1 Peter 3:3-4 (KJV): “Whose adorning let it not be that outward adorning of plaiting the hair, and of wearing of gold, or of putting on of apparel; But let it be the hidden man of the heart, in that which is not corruptible, even the ornament of a meek and quiet spirit, which is in the sight of God of great price.”

Matthew 5:16 (KJV): “Let your light so shine before men, that they may see your good works, and glorify your Father which is in heaven.”

After reading these scriptures, we can see that God cherishes a pure heart and gentle spirit above all else. This is one of the reasons that we are expected to clothe ourselves in modest apparel. It should be the beauty of our souls and spirits that attract attention rather than the gaudiness of our outward appearances. In Matthew, when the word speaks on letting our light shine, it does not mean the light from immodest attire, but the light from good works and humble demeanors. Our Father should be glorified through us, as we should be purified through Him.

What I do, say, and wear all reflect back on My Father, who lives within me. Skirts, or dresses, are my way of clothing myself not of the world, but of the Kingdom of Heaven — my rightful home. The day my pastor turned from his life of sin he was visited by an angel. She was of modest beauty, with a barren face and natural, flowing hair. She wore no jewelry, and clothed herself with nothing more than a plain gray, long dress. If this is what the angels of Heaven wear, why are the children of God not dressing as so? I leave you with this: if His will shall be done on earth as it is in Heaven, then why are we refusing the wardrobe of angels?