To lie as often as we do, there aren’t many lies we tell that appear to serve a purpose that benefits us more than it hurts us. Most of the lies we tell are pointless. When asked to think of some of the most pointless lies they have told, the following is a list of quotes from a group of college students.
“I used to lie about being half-Hispanic because my younger cousin is half-Hispanic.”
“I told my whole third-grade class that my house was hit by a tornado, giving them a long, detailed story about the whole ordeal which never happened.”
“In preschool, I remember literally telling this one girl that I had a pet unicorn.”
“I didn’t get your text… I use that one a lot”
Even knowing that lies like these happen too often, we can’t seem to stop ourselves. What part of our conscious drives this need to lie? If something has been causing you stress, it is often a great stress reliever to lie. If someone is to ask you how that particular thing is going, you will tell them “great” - this is a tool of denial. People often use this as a type of coping mechanism, which eventually forms into a habit.
This quickly formed habit can easily arise more problems than the person originally began with. There are some lies that simply cause more stress than they’re worth- and what was intended to be a stress reliever backfires. Again, a group of tired college kids was asked to share their experiences with lies that caused the most stress for them.
“One time I lied about having a boyfriend in eighth grade. My friends made a big deal over it and kept asking to see my texts and some pictures. Guys, I literally googled pictures of this same guy and kept sending them to my phone so I could show them, and I always told them I deleted all my texts. This literally when on for about a month until I got tired of it. I told them we broke up, then later in high school I came out with the truth. All of my friends knew I was lying anyway. Was not the best time for me.”
“I lied and said that I stayed with a friend and had to have my friend lie along with me. We both had to come together on our story. It was so much work.”
“The most stressful lie was definitely one continuous lie where I was trying to avoid coming out.”
“I lied to my ex a lot by omission. I was so unhappy and I just let myself stay that way- definitely not worth it.”
Some of these lies could have been very easily avoided. However, there are others that cause a great deal of stress but were, for many reasons, a necessary evil. This is often the case for kids that are struggling with the decision to come out, for fear of hurting their family or those that they care about.
This brings me to the next point, we lie most often to avoid hurting people. This is an understood irony, which we will undoubtedly continue to contribute to. We all know that this can cause a lot more harm than might have occurred before the lie began. Yet we can’t ignore the fact that some things are just too much or too scary to share.
We also lie to avoid hurting ourselves. This is where denial comes very strongly into play. We are humans, after all, we are very fragile creatures. There is only so much stress a person can take, and if you have a lot on your plate- it’s easier to just discreetly scrape some veggies into your napkin.
Lying, whether we claim to like it or not, is in some cases the better option. It provides the person with a way to relieve their stress or avoid it. Whether or not this affects them in the long run- does not matter. In the moment you decided to lie, your body thanked you for relieving the stressful effects the truth was beginning to cause it.
