Let me just start off with saying, nothing has to last forever. Some things can be extraordinary but they can perish. Relationships can be great and make such an impact, but that doesn't mean this is your forever. You can love someone with every bone in your body, but that won't change if someone is ready for it. I didn't stay, and I am sorry for how it happened but I am not sorry for ending it. When people say, "it's me, not you", that usually means it is you. In this case, it was actually me.

Being the one to end things means you get all the backlash. The nasty comments, the bad reputation, etc. The one who gets broken up with gets all the compassion. We both had to feel it deep down that things weren't going to play out like the fairytale we wanted. Even if I gave my everything, it wouldn't have changed anything and I would just be losing myself as well. Nothing was missing with you, I just didn't feel ready. I want to be selfish. Go ahead and think what you want, but I need to find me.

I want to establish myself and know what I want without someone by my side. Some people want to do life with someone, but I want to experience life by myself first. I don't want to wait 10 years and realize I don't know who I really am because I put myself in someone else. I am allowed time to be selfish; I don't want to share my life with anyone right now. Forever just seemed so big at the moment. I felt pressure and it was too much for me to handle. I thought I was ready, but I just got caught up and I need to know that I can do life by myself. I don't want to need at this point.

If you are reading this, it was never you. You are amazing. You are everything I wanted. I just am not in the right place in my life right now and timing is crucial. We weren't going at the same pace, and maybe not even the same path. I am missing something in my life, not with you, and I need to figure out what that is.

I shouldn't have left things the way I did and you never deserved that. I hope you find someone who is ready for what you want. I hope she never hurts you like I did. Just know, I did this for me. I don't ask for forgiveness because I made my choice and I let it hurt you. I am sorry I hurt the person I cared about the most.