I'm not mad that it is over, I'm just mad how it ended. I put so much time and effort into saving our relationship, as you did the exact opposite. You started becoming "too busy" for me, no more true conversations, no more going out together, and actually no more hanging out. It just all kind of ended. I was always the concerned one, the over thinker, constantly making sure you were happy. I forgave for things I shouldn't have. I went back to you when I shouldn't have. I loved you when I shouldn't have. I tried to revive us when I shouldn't have. It just became tiring for me, constantly making sure you were happy and you got what you wanted. I would beg for us to go out on a date, but you simply said "no money", so I would pay for it. I would shower you with gifts randomly, but when I got a gift from you, you would just complain about how much it costed. To me your happiness was priceless, to you, my happiness was expensive and time consuming.

The big question for me is "why?". Why did I get back together with you after you hurt me the first time? Why did I get back together with you when I wasn't treated right? when I wasn't allowed to share my own opinions and feelings without being yelled at? Why did I take precious time and energy to be with you and spend time with you and love you when all I got was nothing?

The second time you left me you said it was so you could "focus on other things and that (you) just didn't need a relationship right now" (we have been dating for over a year and a half). A week after breaking up with me because you didn't "have time for a relationship" you were already with another girl.You would proceed to call me names and and make me feel badly, even though I didn't do anything wrong. When you found out I was going on dates again, you basically disowned me. Deleted every single photo of me, as if I hadn't been a big part of your life for the past year and a half. You told me "I thought we would be that couple that stayed friends and maybe got back together one day", even though you were already talking to another girl. I would never hear the end from you, you tried taking all my happiness away from me. You became toxic to me. I couldn't sleep, eat, or keep down food when I could eat. I couldn't help but to think badly about myself, I couldn't focus in school, and I was just falling apart. I was a mess for a little bit, but now I am the strongest I've ever been now that I got your toxic influences out of my life.

I guess I just don't understand why I didn't just let myself be happy, why i just decided to just let you hurt me and to hurt myself by staying rather than just letting go of you. I deserve to say my feelings/ opinions without being yelled at, I deserve to be treated well, I deserve to be taken out ever once in awhile, I deserve to be showered with "I love yous" if you really mean it, and most of all I deserve to be happy. And as I look at it now, that has to be done without you.