Lately, I have been feeling extremely blessed. I passed all of my classes this semester, I moved back home, and now I have some break time to save some money and spend time with friends. I am so happy and excited for this time in my life, but I keep feeling like something is not right.

The feeling that I have been experiencing has a barely audible, aggravating, nervous voice that I have recognized from times before. It’s that voice that whispers when I see a beautiful sunset, when I get done from walking around town with my dog and having a fun night out with friends—the voice whispers, “I don’t deserve this.”

I have decided to fight back with that voice. I do deserve happiness. I deserve happiness just simply because I am alive. Not only because of the cliché, classic sense, but because that’s how humans were biologically made. We were built to use happiness as a tool to evaluate the world that surrounds us. Happiness is at the core of our experiences. The bad experiences, we lack it, but the good ones, we have it abundantly.

I deserve happiness because pain is not useful.

We do not grow when we are suffering. We shut ourselves out from the world. We begin to lack connection. When we are happy, we thrive. Sometimes you have to be strong for yourself. You have to know that you’re a good person and a good friend. Let your smile change the world; don’t let the world change your smile.

I deserve happiness because I am not my past.

I am not the choice I made or the chances I took when I didn’t know better than to take them. It doesn’t matter who has never valued my opinion or who has left me feeling worthless; I matter to Jesus, and he never takes his eyes off me. I deserve to be happy because the past can’t be changed, but the future is still wide open. Scars may show us where we’ve been, but they don’t dictate where we are going. I deserve to be happy because sometimes the people who make the most mistakes have the greatest capacity to warn others from going down the wrong path. My past has not defined me, destroyed me, deterred me, or defeated me; it has only strengthened me.

I deserve happiness because I have survived.

I woke up today and every morning before today. I faced the day and faced any issues that arose. I have made it through arguments, draining jobs, and heartbreaking losses. It takes strength. It takes courage. It takes someone who deserves to have happiness. Despite what I may think, I haven’t been spending my life sitting around waiting for things to happen. I have worked hard. Even if I sometimes consider myself lazy, I have accomplished more than I think. Life takes work; it doesn’t allow you to be useless. I am a survivor, and I will continue to survive.

Happiness is a choice, not a result. Nothing will make you happy until you choose to be happy. No one can force you to make that decision. You have to want it. Your happiness will not come to you. It can only come from you. Being happy also doesn’t mean that everything is going to be perfect. It only means that you’ve decided to look beyond the imperfections.

I have chosen that I deserve to be happy. That little voice inside my head no longer has importance. It will fade because my feelings of joy and contentment will exceed beyond anything else. The best feeling in the world is watching things finally fall into place after watching them fall apart for so long. So choose now to say that you deserve happiness too.