"Just chill out." "What do you have to be sad about?" "Why are you freaking out right now?" "You're always crying."
Just to show some of the things I've heard after being diagnosed with depression/anxiety a few years ago. Something I've noticed a lot with people who don't suffer from this, or don't understand, is that they almost belittle the disorder in a way.
"Just chill out."
Let me explain something to those reading this who don't understand. It's not a matter of "chilling out." We actually can't help it. I know for me, my anxiety comes out of nowhere. I could be in the car and I think another car is a little too close to the car I'm in, and I immediately panic. Tests are also a major trigger, or being surrounded by too many people at one time for a period of time. We can't control when our anxiety will kick in, but you can control being an asshole about it.
"What do you have to be sad about?"
Again, it's not about being "sad," or just laying in bed all the time. I have a fair amount of friends, and I could be in a room filled with my closest ones and still feel absolutely alone. Like anxiety, it can't be controlled and it's not something we want. Imagine always having a giant, dark rain cloud in the sky, but only hovering over you. That's the best way I can describe depression to someone. It doesn't matter how beautiful the day is, we'll still feel under the weather.
"Why are you freaking out right now?"
Please never, ever ask me this. It'll honestly make me panic even more, because sometimes I don't even know why I'm "freaking out." You know that point in the semester when finals have arrived and you're freaking out cause you haven't really studied and your first final is in two days? That's how we feel all the time. It's like there's people running around in our brains pushing a "panic" button every five seconds. It's like everything instantly sets into slow motion, or moves a million times faster, and you're just standing still. You can't do anything but try and breathe but you can't. It really sucks.
"You're always crying."
Well yeah if you had to take medicine to help control yourself, and had panic attacks three times a day, I'd imagine you'd probably cry frequently too. And when you have panic attacks and feel like you can't get any oxygen into your lungs no matter how hard you try, I assume you'd cry too because it's scary.
The whole thing is scary. You constantly wonder if people are still gonna wanna be around you after they see you have a panic attack, or after they deal with your depression for a few months. I know for me, I'm always thinking I'm gonna be alone. That my friends and family will get so tired of dealing with it, they'll just start to disappear out of my life, and it sucks because it's not something I can control. You never know when the next anxiety attack will hit you, or when your own mental state of sadness will consume you.
Next time you hear of someone with depression/anxiety, don't belittle their feelings and actions, because it's nothing small to joke about. These disorders consume people's lives everyday and takes control. Telling them they're "crying too much and freaking out over nothing," isn't the way to handle a person with this situation. There's a better way to go about it, and it's not with rude comments making them feel worse than they already do.
