Dating Needs To Wait Until After College, And Here's Why
Start writing a post
Entertainment

Dating Needs To Wait Until After College, And Here's Why

7676
Dating Needs To Wait Until After College, And Here's Why

The second the L-word gets brought up, my rolling eyes and interruption with "love isn't real" is guaranteed. But here's the thing, I love love. And for someone that loves the people in her life so deeply, like myself, I want to be clear. Yes, I do believe in love, and maybe one day love will stumble in my path. But the college dating culture today has made it hard for me to believe here and now is the time and place for something as incredible as love.

This is why I won't date in college, and why I think everyone should do the same:

1. I don't want to depend on someone else for my own happiness.

The moment you get attached to someone you are dating, your happiness slowly becomes dependent on your relationship. The moment you get in a fight, the agony after breaking up, the trust issues ... I don't want to have to worry about that when I am in college trying to find my own way in this crazy adult world full of failed exams and all-nighters. I'm emotionally unstable at the library at 3 a.m. enough already.

2. I don't want to lose the best four years of my life to someone that could walk out any second.

I know this sounds a little harsh, like come on, love is trusting them completely or the things that you sacrifice for true love…right? I agree, if you find it in college I support you, and I am so tremendously happy for you. But for me, I don't want to spend time looking for "Mr. Right" here in college meanwhile my super-fun, crazy, best experiences here in college are just passing on by.

3. College dating isn't dating.

Hooking up is the culture of college dating. Even for the ones who have found love here, how many relationships started by a drunken make out on a Thursday night? And hey, we all have those. We're in college, and it's fun, I totally agree. And maybe I'm just a hopeless romantic who secretly wants to meet my husband with some crazy story Nicholas Sparks would write a bestseller about, but all I know is that in college, relationships come on convenience rather than connections, and we settle rather than set standards.

4. My girls.

Everyone knows the girl, or has been the girl, who gets too involved with her relationship, and then she starts picking boy time over girl time. And that's one thing I don't ever want to lose in college. I don't ever want to have to decide between the time I spend with my girls—my best friends—and the time I spend with my boyfriend. And plus, I live for the "Why can't you be a boy so we can get married" jokes to my best friend.

5. My family.

Of course, I'd love to have a family of my own some day. But I am the baby of my family, my parents' best friends and my sisters' No. 1 fan. Sure, I know I can always be this girl, but the second I start having another person that I love as a priority to spend time with, it slowly goes from personal interactions with my family to coming as a package deal. Invited to every birthday, Christmas party, Hawaii vacations ... which are great, don't get me wrong, but I just don't think I am ready to sacrifice how incredibly close I am with my family for always having a boy in the mix yet.

6. Lack of connection.

I live to connect. So we hooked up, that's cool, but just know I'm about to keep you up for an hour or two longer to get to know you. Yeah, I'm that girl, but how am I supposed to know you based on your abilities in bed or what fraternity you're in. I wanna chat, but it doesnt mean I'm trying to make you my boyfriend on the spot ...There's this weird thing with college boys that as soon as a girl wants to know about you it means she is ready to put a ring on it. That 1 a.m. text to sleep over just doesn't do it for me. Let's talk.

7. I'm weird. And I'm not going to change that for anyone.

I'm sorry, but if you can't handle me on the dance floor when "Come On Eileen" comes on or the fact that I'll drive three hours to go to a llama petting zoo, we won't do. I hope you don't get embarrassed easily cause I'm gonna tear up the dance floor at that party, and there is nothing you can do to stop me. College is about finding and being yourself, right?! YOU DO YOU, MAN ... and if it happens to work with me doin' me, cool.

8. We're all independent-minded.

Hi, welcome to UCLA, the school where each student that enrolled came with a future already planned out, and it didn't include a spouse or girlfriend or anyone else but yourself. I mean that's how we all got in here, we have goals, and we achieve them, and that's what I love about college. But I'm just not down to settle to be a side chick to someone's chemistry degree. Ouch.

9. Commitment. Yikes.

I can't even decide what candy to buy at the movies, let alone deciding to be with someone for the rest of my life. I'm 20 years old, and to sign my independence away forever to be with someone for the rest of my life is a huge commitment. Huge. So, I'm not gonna date to mess around with feelings, mine or yours. I assure you the next time I call someone my boyfriend, it's not gonna be just anyone. And I'll probably have called my mom 37 times before actually committing to him, just to be sure.

I'm all about committing if I find the one, trust me. I say "love isn't real" far too often for what I actually mean. I believe love in this place, college, does exists. But I don't think it does for me. But I will say this: I wont let the culture of college love ruin my chance at finding love at all. College love is the best thing that's ever happened to me, or rather, hasn't happened to me. Because for me, I refuse to let go of my idea of love, the soul mates kind of love. And I know, I know. Who knows, maybe that doesn't exist anymore in today's generation. And if it does exist, it sure is rare. But that's the best part. One day, when it does come along, I know that it is so rare that he must be the one.

Report this Content
This article has not been reviewed by Odyssey HQ and solely reflects the ideas and opinions of the creator.
Health and Wellness

Exposing Kids To Nature Is The Best Way To Get Their Creative Juices Flowing

Constantly introducing young children to the magical works of nature will further increase the willingness to engage in playful activities as well as broaden their interactions with their peers

1293233

Whenever you are feeling low and anxious, just simply GO OUTSIDE and embrace nature! According to a new research study published in Frontiers in Psychology, being connected to nature and physically touching animals and flowers enable children to be happier and altruistic in nature. Not only does nature exert a bountiful force on adults, but it also serves as a therapeutic antidote to children, especially during their developmental years.

Keep Reading... Show less
Health and Wellness

5 Simple Ways To Give Yourself Grace, Especially When Life Gets Hard

Grace begins with a simple awareness of who we are and who we are becoming.

808736
Photo by Brooke Cagle on Unsplash

If there's one thing I'm absolutely terrible at, it's giving myself grace. I'm easily my own worst critic in almost everything that I do. I'm a raging perfectionist, and I have unrealistic expectations for myself at times. I can remember simple errors I made years ago, and I still hold on to them. The biggest thing I'm trying to work on is giving myself grace. I've realized that when I don't give myself grace, I miss out on being human. Even more so, I've realized that in order to give grace to others, I need to learn how to give grace to myself, too. So often, we let perfection dominate our lives without even realizing it. I've decided to change that in my own life, and I hope you'll consider doing that, too. Grace begins with a simple awareness of who we are and who we're becoming. As you read through these five affirmations and ways to give yourself grace, I hope you'll take them in. Read them. Write them down. Think about them. Most of all, I hope you'll use them to encourage yourself and realize that you are never alone and you always have the power to change your story.

Keep Reading... Show less
Entertainment

Breaking Down The Beginning, Middle, And End of Netflix's Newest 'To All The Boys' Movie

Noah Centineo and Lana Condor are back with the third and final installment of the "To All The Boys I've Loved Before" series

794135
Netflix

Were all teenagers and twenty-somethings bingeing the latest "To All The Boys: Always and Forever" last night with all of their friends on their basement TV? Nope? Just me? Oh, how I doubt that.

I have been excited for this movie ever since I saw the NYC skyline in the trailer that was released earlier this year. I'm a sucker for any movie or TV show that takes place in the Big Apple.

Keep Reading... Show less
Lifestyle

4 Ways To Own Your Story, Because Every Bit Of It Is Worth Celebrating

I hope that you don't let your current chapter stop you from pursuing the rest of your story.

513284
Photo by Manny Moreno on Unsplash

Every single one of us has a story.

I don't say that to be cliché. I don't say that to give you a false sense of encouragement. I say that to be honest. I say that to be real.

Keep Reading... Show less
Politics and Activism

How Young Feminists Can Understand And Subvert The Internalized Male Gaze

Women's self-commodification, applied through oppression and permission, is an elusive yet sexist characteristic of a laissez-faire society, where women solely exist to be consumed. (P.S. justice for Megan Fox)

320185
Paramount Pictures

Within various theories of social science and visual media, academics present the male gaze as a nebulous idea during their headache-inducing meta-discussions. However, the internalized male gaze is a reality, which is present to most people who identify as women. As we mature, we experience realizations of the perpetual male gaze.

Keep Reading... Show less
Lifestyle

It's Important To Remind Yourself To Be Open-Minded And Embrace All Life Has To Offer

Why should you be open-minded when it is so easy to be close-minded?

453843

Open-mindedness. It is something we all need a reminder of some days. Whether it's in regards to politics, religion, everyday life, or rarities in life, it is crucial to be open-minded. I want to encourage everyone to look at something with an unbiased and unfazed point of view. I oftentimes struggle with this myself.

Keep Reading... Show less
Swoon

14 Last Minute Valentine's Day Gifts Your S.O. Will Love

If they love you, they're not going to care if you didn't get them some expensive diamond necklace or Rolex watch; they just want you.

307573

Let me preface this by saying I am not a bad girlfriend.

I am simply a forgetful one.

Keep Reading... Show less
Student Life

10 Helpful Tips For College Students Taking Online Courses This Semester

Here are several ways to easily pass an online course.

207106
Photo by Vlada Karpovich on Pexels

With spring semester starting, many college students are looking to take courses for the semester. With the pandemic still ongoing, many students are likely looking for the option to take online courses.

Online courses at one time may have seemed like a last minute option for many students, but with the pandemic, they have become more necessary. Online courses can be very different from taking an on-campus course. You may be wondering what the best way to successfully complete an online course is. So, here are 10 helpful tips for any student who is planning on taking online courses this semester!

Keep Reading... Show less
Facebook Comments