Stop comparing yourself. Stop looking at your friends and wondering why they're prettier or more successful than you. Stop stalking other people on Instagram to see how nice their "feed" is and how many followers they have. Stop trying to be like someone else when you could work on being yourself. Stop focusing on the athletic achievements of someone else when you could be attaining your own goals. Stop flirting over social media. Stop waiting for that one person to like your picture before they like someone else’s. Stop taking selfies and posting them just because you want other people to envy you. Stop losing friends over popularity. Stop looking at other's lives and pitying yours. Stop wondering if you are doing something wrong because someone else is doing something right. Stop comparing your life to others or you will miss the chance to actually live yours.
The rant above is not just an open letter to anyone who reads this-- it’s a talk to myself. Comparison is such a struggle of mine, as it is for many, and it’s not just a problem girls face. Guys struggle with this too, whether it’s grades, athletics, girls or lifestyle in general. All humans treat each other as competition. Theodore Roosevelt said, "Comparison is the thief of joy," and boy was he right.
Why is it such a bad thing, though? If we don't aspire to be like others, aren’t we being conceited?
First of all, no, you are not being conceited. Being confident in yourself is different than being full of yourself. Second, let me put it this way: What if I took the rant above and changed the dont's into dos?
Compare yourself. Look at your friends and wonder why they're prettier and more successful than you. Stalk other people on Instagram to see how nice their "feed" is and how many followers they have. If they have more than you, you should worry. Try to be like someone else, because you’re too original. Look at the athletic achievements of your friends and think about how much of a failure you are. Flirt over social media! Confrontation is so not important anymore. Spend all afternoon waiting for that one person to like your picture before they like someone else’s. If they don’t like it, they probably don’t like you. Post your 5th selfie of the week so all of your “friends” can envy you. Choose popularity over friends. It’s way more important to be known by all than to be liked by some, right? Look at others lives compared to yours and feel sorry for yourself! If someone else is doing something right, you’re definitely doing something wrong. Compare every part of your life to others so you don’t actually have to live the mess that is your life.
While I wrote that, I almost laughed out loud at how pitiful it sounds. “If they don’t like your picture, they probably don’t like you.” Really? How does that even relate? It doesn’t. The saddest part is I believed all of what was said above. I compared myself to my friends, which caused me to practically hate them even when they had done nothing wrong. It was all in my head. The more you compare yourself, the more you forget who you really are, and that's the problem. How can you accept yourself when you don’t know who you’re accepting? We’ve got to stop looking at each other as competition! We are all different for a reason. If we were all alike, life would be so boring. If I told you to pick out the crazy, most likely to get arrested, but the hilarious friend of the group, I bet you'd think of that person right off the bat. Or if I asked you to think of the "mom" of the friend group, you'd know who that person is without a second thought. What if we didn't have those different types of people?
Accept that you are original. Accept that you are different than your friends. Accept that the right person will love you for YOU, the authentic, original you. Stop keeping Snapchat streaks and start having conversations that you’ll remember for a long time.
My mom always told me, “I really don’t care what they do, because we aren’t them.” Whenever I feel myself feeling insecure and less than, I remember this. I am not supposed to be like you, and you are not supposed to be like me. You were created exactly the way you were intended to be all along, and if someone doesn’t appreciate you for that, then they don’t deserve you. Stop comparing yourself and start loving yourself.
