I don’t know about you but when I see a guy in a pair of cargo shorts I immediately lose interest in him. There is something about those hideous shorts that just make me cringe in every way possible. It’s like a plague comparable to no other. I may seem a little crazy but I once dragged my ex-boyfriend to the mall just to force him to purchase other shorts because he owned over 7 pairs of cargo shorts and only them… but yet I still don’t regret doing that to this day. You have to be a very special someone to be able to pull cargo shorts off.
"Relationships around the country are being tested by cargo shorts, loosely cut shorts with large pockets sewn onto the sides." The accuracy of that quote could not be any greater. I get it men nothing is more wonderful than having endless pockets to stuff all of your shit in. I completely get that, I do the same thing with the pockets of my military uniform. For years now they have been known to be just plain hideous. As much as I love to shove shit in my pockets there is really no need for anything more than two to four pockets. Females wear jeggings half the time that don’t even have any pockets (yes jeggings have “fake” pockets for all the men that didn’t already know that). If there is really such a need to carry something significant we carry a purse, if you are a male it’s not that difficult for you to carry a backpack. Are you really carrying that many condoms in your pockets?
“When the British military developed the first iteration of the cargo pant in 1938, desirability was probably the furthest thing from their minds. As a result, the first cargo was a somewhat sloppy creation. The single patch pocket that the Brits had slapped on their BDU’s (British dress uniforms) was poorly sized and impractical, which ended up defeating the purpose of the pocket in the first place.”-Jake Gallagher
They are baggy as hell and they give no shape to you. What more could you have to stuff in your pockets than a set of keys, your phone, and a wallet? Why carry all that extra baggage around with you if you don’t have to. If your problem is that you need to cover your knees then you shouldn’t be in a pair of shorts in the first place. Covering your knees just looks ridiculous and defeats the purpose of wearing shorts to begin with. You can’t tell me those crazy pockets on the side don’t add bulk to the shorts and drag them past your hips. If you compare a pair of cargo shorts to a pair of flat front shorts/chino shorts anybody can tell you which one is more attractive and flattering. Chinos are flattering and slimmer. Almost every brand that sells cargo shorts also sells these kind of shorts. It really isn’t that complicated and they go for the same amount of money.
I guarantee you men that if you still are one of those that wear cargo shorts that the second you get rid of them your level of attractiveness will increase by at least 10%....Hey maybe making that change will get you your dream lady, or that lady you’ve been trying to pick up at the bar for weeks now. So do our eyes all a favor and ditch those suckers for good!
