I don’t know if it’s just me but the hate in the African American community is absolutely out of control. It’s like because you have even a drop of African blood in your veins you’re not allowed to be anything else. You have to be black. This reminds me of when Jim Crow laws were strong in the United States. How if you had one drop of black blood that’s all you were. You were black and black was you and even if you were multiracial you were black. That same mentality is running rampant in our community—the black community. Now before you make judgment please read what I have to say to each “point."

“I’m not black, I’m mixed”

As I previously stated, the black community (or should I say some in the black community) believes that having a drop of black blood in your veins makes you black. But what about everything else? As a black and Cuban woman by birth, I have just as much a right to say I am Cuban as I do to say I am black. Mixed is how I identify my race because that’s what I am, a mix of two races. I find this point to be ignorant personally. This mentality makes people of two or more races feel like they have to swear allegiance to one part of them in order to be accepted. How dare anyone say that someone cannot identify as who they are because it would make you feel some type of way. As long as I make sure to keep my roots strong what does it matter to you? I am who I am. I am mixed. It shouldn’t be taken as someone trying not to accept a part of themselves or water down their African heritage. It should be looked at as someone accepting and exploring themselves holistically.

“I’m not black, I’m creole”

I am of the belief that being “black” is for African Americans. Maybe I am wrong. Maybe you look at the word and world differently, but this is how I see it. Now, if I were creole I just might say that I’m creole. The same way a Nigerian could say I’m Nigerian not black. I believe there isn’t self-hate in this, just another way of identifying oneself.

“I’m not dark skin, I’m brown skin”

Now, I would also like to say I identify as brown skin and let me tell you why. Growing up, I had many siblings and we were a myriad of shades, but I was considered light skinned without a doubt. As I grew older, my skin darkened for a number of reasons and I became what is considered brown skin. Once brown skin, I realized people no longer looked at me the same, expected the same of me and wanted the same as they did when I was lighter. I realized they didn’t interact with me the same way they did with my darker siblings. I was in the middle of the spectrum and that’s how I was treated. This is all to say that as much as there are light skinned and dark skinned people, there are brown skinned people as well. I don’t use this to put distance between myself and people of my race/ethnicity—I use this to describe who I am, what I look like and how society treats me.

“I’m usually lighter, I have a tan now”

Why is this such an issue?! If a person is usually lighter but they have a tan now, how is this any form of self-hate? It's an observation! How is it different than saying, “My hair isn’t usually this wavy, it’s because I wet it?" Not everything has to be self-hate.

“Let me get out the sun, I don’t wanna get darker”

Saying you don’t want to get darker shouldn’t be construed as a form of self-hate. Like I said earlier, I used to be lighter but because of genetics and one fateful summer at the pool my skin color is now permanently darker. Now, in the beginning, I was livid. Not because I hated my skin color overall, but because I became accustomed to my skin. I loved my skin, and I looked at my skin as a defining part of myself. Something I loved so much was taken from me because I was not mindful of the care my skin needed.

Once I realized that this was no ordinary tan, that this was forever, I did the same thing I did when I was younger. I accepted and loved my skin and it is something I deem beautiful. Basically, someone saying they don’t want to get darker shouldn’t always mean they hate themselves. Maybe it’s because it took them a while to love their skin and they’re at a place where they don’t want it to change.

“I’m not all black”—Refer to “I’m not black, I’m mixed”.

“We’re all technically mixed if you think about it”

Well, that is true technically. So why is there hate for someone to say that technically we are all mixed?

“He’s too dark for my taste”

This doesn’t just affect African-Americans. There are other ethnic groups that experience this. It isn’t really an issue of race or self-hate because it’s just a preference.

“I only date mixed girls”

Well, this is kinda racist and could be self-hate.

“I’m not black, I’m brown”

This is absolutely true. “Black” people don’t all have black skin. The term black was based on the perception of the color of the skin of Africans. It wasn’t that all their skin was actually black but it was dark, so it was called black. If someone is going to be called something based on their skin color then it should be correct by this day and age. If my skin is brown then call it brown.

What some may take and believe is self-hate could just be an observation. It could mean someone is expressing their identity or their preferences. At the end of the day, these sayings should not automatically make your self-hate buzzer go off. Give people a chance and listen to understand what they mean because by doing that you can totally miss out on that person’s message and a new understanding of the world.