So two of the latest dating trends are known as ghosting and benching. It seems to be that ghosting was so last month, and now benching has just rolled in and taken over all of the spotlights. Regardless, sometimes it's hard to differentiate between the two, but I'm here to help you get it straight.
So ghosting is when the person that you have relations with all of a sudden ceases all forms of contact with you. You don't hear from them, they don't like any of your photos, they barely post anything, don't even check in to see how you've been. It's as if they have completely dropped off of the face of the earth. Nope, they haven't. They're just really not that into you. They have ceased all contact because they hope that you'll just get the hint and they won't have to "let you down the hard way." Overall, ghosting sucks. People just need to man up and be straight with each other. But whatever, now on to benching.
Benching is the new thing. Although it's not exactly a new thing, at least now we're acknowledging it more. Benching it similar to ghosting, but let me tell you, it may even be worse. Yes, worse. Hear me out, hear me out. While ghosting is a complete disappearance, benching is stringing the other person along with just enough so that they'll come back for more and continue waiting for someone who has never actually even been there.
So, I think we're all on the same page that we know that ghosting is when they completely just vanish. Take the hint, and don't waste your time. Trust me.
Now, let's talk a little bit more about benching because this is where it gets slightly complicated/more confusing.
1. Instead of texting you, they like and maybe (if you're lucky) comment on your social media.
So instead of actually putting real effort into forming something real with you, (because they just "don't know if that's what they want") they like, maybe even comment, on your photos. So they're willing to let you know that they are for sure slightly interested in you, so they keep you on a string by acknowledging your presence and how good you look sometimes, but god forbid they ever do anything to actually acknowledge you like hmm -- maybe text?
2. They feed you lines.
So when you actually do talk, you can only help but be a little bit dramatic. I mean, come on, how couldn't you? You don't want to be dramatic and annoying but they're playing serious games with your head and you just want to know where you stand and what's up. But still, they don't give you an answer. They feed you lines. "I really like you, but I just don't want a relationship," or, "I want to keep hanging out with you." Ok, so ha, make the effort. It's simple. Don't fall for these lines. If they liked you, they would make the effort. If they wanted to see you, they would. It's that simple. Actions speak way louder than words.
3. You're afraid to say anything that may ruin things between you two.
LOL, NO. If you're scared to say absolutely anything to the person you're with, then get out of it. You should feel comfortable and able to be yourself with the person that you like. End of story.
4. You want to text, but what if they don't respond?
This should really not be an issue when you're trying to talk to the person you like. If texting and worrying about a response is an issue, then that is a HUGE red flag. Why would you even want to be texting someone that you aren't positive is going to respond? You're better than that.
5. They're never really going to end things.
And this is basically what benching is. They are never really going to end things with you because they don't necessarily want to. They want to have you as an option. They want to be able to call or text you when they get bored or when they can't get the hottest person at the party. If you're only an option now, that's all you're really ever going to be.
