Being single is such an interesting concept. Just one small word, but with a multitude of connotations. It’s one of those things that’s both empowering, and frightening at the same time, and it's crazy how often human beings pressure themselves, and others, if this single life goes on for longer than expected.

I am currently single for the first time in a LONG time, and it has taken some getting used to, I'll admit, but I've come a long way, so I'm not ashamed to share any of this. I haven’t been on my own since I was sixteen, and I’m twenty-three right now. It wasn’t by choice, I just always ended up speaking to someone new, and sure enough one thing led to another, and so on and so forth. It wasn’t out of necessity either-- I never depended on my partners, financially or even emotionally, but we’re human, and it honestly just feels good to feel loved sometimes, and to have someone there. So I had my relationships; met the parents, did couple things, and ultimately I did feel happy at the time. What I did not feel, however, was complete...and then I realized something.

These younger years are not meant for falling in love with people, at least not romantically. Can it happen? Of course. Can you meet the love of your life at fifteen and spend the rest of your lives together? Sure. But right now, there are so many other things to fall in love with, like traveling, food, books, art, but most importantly, yourself.

Yeah, being single gets scary sometimes because no one ever wants to feel lonely. It’s never fun feeling like the third wheel, or feeling like everyone’s chance at love is coming before yours. This is why patience is so important, even more so when you’re single than when you’re in a relationship. Pace yourself, alleviate the unnecessary pressure, and just focus on everything that concerns you.

At this point in your life, are you where you would like to be? Have you achieved any of the individual goals you’ve set for yourself, big or small?

I raise these questions because they are the foundation for any healthy relationship. How can you hope to build a foundation with someone else, without any building blocks of your own?

Focusing on yourself allows you to do all of the things you need to do for you. Discover new things about yourself; likes and dislikes, new hobbies; try new things and see what appeals to you, spend time with friends and family, make decisions for you and only you, and the list goes on! These are your years to follow your own heart, your own path; without limitations, obligations, or distractions.

There is a huge difference in being alone, and being lonely. Finding comfort in solitude doesn't mean you have to sacrifice your social life, or become a hermit who shuns everyone and everything. It's about knowing that you, alone, are enough-- for others, and for yourself.

Relationships can be amazing, but remember, they are not everything. Being single encourages you to be more independent, promotes self-respect, and ultimately, brings about a more positive and confident YOU! So don't feel discouraged over something so silly, and be happy for those who are happy and in love. One day, when the time is right, it will be your turn, and you will be more than ready for it.